It All Started In Rehab ✓

[Chapter Forty-Nine] Better Together

Song, better together by Jack Johnson on the side :)

Chapter Forty-Nine – Better Together
Bailey's Pov

I stayed as strong as I could for him but as soon as he walked out the door I went to his room to see what he left and I wish I didn't. I wish he left it in my room or something because seeing it so bare sent a pain to my chest. I grabbed a box and quickly made my escape from there and went back to my room.

I felt so alone, my boyfriend was gone and my best friend was dead, I was a drug addict and I'm only twenty years old, how the hell did I screw up my life so bad?

I fell back into my bed and curled up on my side, I could smell his cologne in my bed and I wrapped myself up in one of his shirts and I cried.

I didn't just cry those little sobs but the kind that shook your body and made your eyes burn a little,  no i cried those sobs that shook your body so violently it sent you to the bathroom to throw up as you cried harder.

I didn't like being alone, I wasn't good at it. I had Drew and when he left I started going to parties, eventually I met Macy and I had them and then I came here and now they were all gone and I was alone.

I couldn't look in the box so when I could move from the bathroom I brushed my teeth and laid down in my empty bed and I played with the ring he gave me last night which started a whole new round of tears.

It was only four weeks, only four!

I kept telling myself it would all be okay and I knew that when I got to be with him again none of this would be important anymore but it didn't stop me from like crap now, I wish I felt empty.

No, I didn't want that, I wanted to feel something, it made me know that I had something worth fighting for and I would, I would fight this feeling just not today.

I think I was allowed a couple days to feel miserable, I'm pretty sure it's in a handbook somewhere that when your boyfriend goes away for a month you get a few days to mope and be a total girl and cry and miss them.

If not, I don't care; I'm going to do it anyways.

I laid there until the urge to open the box was unbearable so I grabbed it and flopped back on my bed, setting it in front of me. I pulled out a notebook and a bunch of CD's with emotions written on them, all except one that just had my name on it.

I grabbed my laptop and put the last CD in there and let the upbeat music play. It was a little different; it gave me a happy feeling as I swayed along to the music. I didn't know the song and I didn't know who it was by which was a little disappointing, I didn't have a way of knowing who any of these songs were by since I didn't have internet.

        There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
        No song that I could sing but I can try for your heart
        Our dreams and they are made out of real things
        Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned lovin'

        Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
"        Why are we here?" and, "Where do we go?"
        And, "How come it's so hard?"
        It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
        I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

I listened to the music and it brought a smile to my face, when it was over I put another CD in that said sad on it because well, I was and as the songs played I looked at the notebook.

        'Bailey,
        I know you didn't think I opened up to you as much you did to me, read as much or little as you         want, inside is the real me and it's not all good but I love you Bailey, and if you read this you'll         see how much you helped me.'