the color orange, and other things twisted by chronic illness

on why i bother

some days 

(more like every day)

treatment is

a lot.

it means

physical therapy,

getting through school,

making time for

doctor's appointments

and therapists,

all when i would rather

curl up 

on the couch.

it's a juggling act

that takes more energy

than i feel i have.

but i do it.

i move onward

when there is no longer

an end or beginning

in sight.

why?

it would be 

so much easier

to just give up.

but

there are people

in this world

that i love 

so deeply

and i know that

i cannot give them 

all that 

i have 

to offer

unless there is

a me 

to offer it.