Confession to my partner

a short biography - a little info about me

Now let me think, what else can I put here? Are you interested in knowing more about me?

Well here we go. 

A few facts about me –

I started writing at around the age of 13-15 years (cannot remember exactly) and was inspired to write in the first place because of a video game. I started writing one book, intending it to be the only one. Then after that I got the ball rolling, and as time went on I came up with so many more ideas.

These will happily keep me going for the rest of my life.

Fantasy is my main drive, and once I discovered yaoi, I fell in love with that too. Today I sexually identify as a pansexual apache attack helicopter ^^

I love anime, and robot rainbow unicorns. Akira is my inspiration, and my favourite novel is 'The Name of the Wind' by Patrick Rothfuss.

I draw inspiration for my stories from life and the world around me that I share with so many others.

My story –

I didn't have the best start in life, after growing up with a family that neglected and hurt me, I fashioned myself a new name, a true name. I was finally free of that prison when I moved out to start a life of my own, and for the first time ever, I felt truly alive and free. And so, shortly after moving out, I changed my entire name, and for the first time in my life I was living as I wanted, as I was supposed to, doing what I loved. This was only the beginning.

I lived in a shared rented house for about a year before meeting my current partner, life was hard, being independent was hard and I struggled most days, but it was the best moment of my life, as I met such wonderful people.

When my current partner came into the picture, I instantly felt a spark. I left my old life behind completely, and moved 200 miles to live with him and we quickly became engaged, after only about 2 months of knowing each other. At this time of writing, we have been together for 7 years, and things are wonderful.

Today, I live a good life, despite some difficulties within myself, I carry on with the help of others, knowing there are others around me who care gives me the strength to keep on going.

Things were not easy for me early on in life. I experienced a traumatic event in my childhood that has affected me still, 17 years later. I experienced PTSD shortly after this event, and began to self-harm, which I continued for years. After a certain point I kept a knife in the drawer of my bedside table permanently, and would cut myself often.

This is something I no longer do. I have not deliberately self-harmed in many years, and this is good.

Today I live a good life, but am haunted by my past.

I take antidepressants now, and have been doing so for years, coming off for a short time, I ended up going back on them, a decision not taken lightly. I don't think I can survive without them, and experience suicidal thoughts often, even sometimes when I am happy, for no reason.

Today I am doing as well as I am because of the people around me, most of all my partner, who overlooked my issues, and loved me anyway. My life was ruined by that traumatic event I suffered in my childhood, and when I met my partner, her gave me a whole new life, and I started on a new path, our journey in life together now with each other. I have what I have today only because of him, and I will never forget that. 

The worst part of depression is not what it does to you, but what it does to those around you. It was not easy telling the people I care about that I wanted to die.

Today I am doing much better after seeking help, but I feel strongly that I will live with this for the rest of my life, and I feel that I will always depend on medication to help support me. I am also at this time of writing booked to see a therapist, which is a first for me. 

I love people, and I love interaction, but most of the time I prefer to be alone.

I wish for only a simple and peaceful life, I wish for happiness, and I wish to write, for I feel that is my purpose in life. And it is wonderful...