Parachute. (Phan)

Day 2 (Dan)

Dan was startled awake by the voices in his head screaming at him to wake up. Jump off the bridge right now instead of tomorrow. When he realized his nightmare wasn't real, he laid back down. No, he disputed. I should spend just one more day doing the things I love. Dan was glad his nicer voice was more prominent than the howls of his demons. He rubbed the tired from his eyes and swung his feet over his bed, standing and stretching his tall, skinny body. He was probably going to order a bunch of food from Tesco and watch anime until it was time to go to the bridge. Dan thought he should look decent through his final hours, so he walked over to his small bathroom and creaked on the shower. One final shower, one final destruction of this disgusting body, he brooded as he grabbed his shiny silver razor from his second drawer.

Dan stripped off his boxers and sat in the burning water, almost turning red from how warm it was. Though he felt better than he has for a while knowing he was going to end it all tonight, he couldn't escape the voices that he hoped didn't carry on in the afterlife. If there is one.

I've been telling you for years to do this. Now, look! You're finally doing something right for a change. Soon you'll relieve the burden you put on this world. You have nothing else left to offer. You're useless, you're out of video ideas, and you'll never amount to anything. Sure, the YouTube career was great for a while but you're empty. Your soul has already left and it's time for you to follow.

Dan didn't want to believe the infectious words. They felt like venom, but the truth hurts. Dan washed his curly brown hair for the first time in about 2 weeks and grabbed his trusty razor. The only thing that's been there for me besides PJ, he considered as he slowly but harshly glided the metal against his wrist and thighs. He lost count of how many openings he made. He watched the blood pour out and twirl with the water like clouds on Jupiter, watching the spiraled patterns wash down the drain along with any hope he had left in his weak body. He rinsed himself off, making sure his wounds weren't bleeding anymore, and dressed himself in his favourite pajama shirt, a white shirt with cats wearing space suits on the front that he got from the Kennedy Space Centre. He paired it with space-patterned pajama pants.

Dan trudged out to his couch and plopped down with his laptop. He went to Tesco's site and ordered a bunch of food, from vegetarian Indian food to pizza to salted caramel ice cream to, of course, Maltesers. After ordering, he put on his favourite anime and wrapped himself in his favourite blanket. About an hour went by and he heard a knock at the door. He kept himself wrapped in his blanket so the stranger wouldn't see his wounds.

"Hello, sir! Here are your groceries," a delivery girl from Tesco chirped.

"Thank you," Dan said hoarsely. The roughness of his voice shocked him, probably because he hasn't needed to use it since yesterday's video.

"Having a day in with someone special with all this food, aye?" The girl teased.

"Haha... yeah..." Dan mumbled as he dug money out of his pockets and tipped the girl generously.

"Wow, thank you so much, sir! Have a very good day." She happily wished him and went back to her car.

Oh if she only knew what a happy night I'll have. Dan unpacked the food and put some of it away, leaving out the pizza and bringing it back to his seat on the couch.

Dan got the daily notification of who had subscribed to his channel at exactly 4 P.M. He decided to look at who subbed to him today. He opened his phone and found 3 people did. 2 names he didn't recognize but the third name just about stopped his heart. THE AmazingPhil did NOT just follow me. No. This has to be a fan account with a similar name right? But as he clicked on the username, there was the account that he'd known far too well. No fucking way. Why did he follow ME? What the hell? He still couldn't believe it, but when it actually hit him he was grinning ear to ear. Does this mean he likes my videos...? Dan's mind raced but settled on what was probably the truth, he saw that he wasn't following someone that had kept popping up in his mentions and followed him just to make his followers happy, of course, he didn't actually watch Dan's videos. Dan shook his head and sighed, locked his phone and turned his attention back to his anime.

The day felt like it was never going to end. Every time Dan looked at his phone it was only a minute later than the last time he checked. Dan decided he would leave around 11:30 P.M. so he could walk to the bridge, he saw it was going to be a nice night anyway. Finally, it came round to being 11 and decided he should write a letter to whoever goes to his apartment after. He got dressed in his favourite hoodie, grey accented with two little horns on the hood. He pulled on ripped black skinny jeans and wrote to the only people that really cared about him; his family and PJ.

He wrote how sorry he was to his mum and dad, how he wished so much for them that they could've had a better son, someone who didn't drop out and wish he became someone they could be proud of. He wrote to Adrian, his brother, about how bright his future is and hopes he doesn't turn out like his older brother. Adding that yeah, he was a pretty cool kid. And finally, he wrote to PJ, hoping that someday they can collab together again and thanking him for being his only real friend. He left the notes on his kitchen counter so they're easy to find. He turned off the TV, closed his laptop, and walked out of the apartment that he would never see again.

Dan locked the door and immediately pulled up his hood, not realizing how much chillier it was going to be. He pulled up walking directions to Tower Bridge, which he was only 22 minutes away from. He arrived right around midnight and went to the outer part of the bridge, nothing between him and the River Thames. The nice voice in his head told him to just go home, this is just another bad spell. You'll get over it soon. But Dan has already made up his mind. He can't live like this anymore. What if you got help? That would take too long. I would still be miserable. Don't turn back.

This bickering between him and his logical side lasted about an hour. Dan took some deep breaths to calm the storm swirling inside him. Though the voices were still there, every breath took them farther away until they were just whispers. Finally some peace and quiet, or what seemed like it after the longest time of constant shouting.

"Hey. Why are you up here so late? Shouldn't you be at home or something?" A random man's voice asked Dan softly.