3. Hope (Miles Hollingsworth fanfic)

9

Olivia's POV:

After my panic attack at school my head felt like I was underwater. Things were chaotic but in almost a numbing way. It was like of all the emotions from rehab had caught up to me and getting triggered by the busses had let loose the floodgates. At least that's how I had tried to rationalise it.

That feeling was always there until I was with Miles, where he let me think of nothing else but how much I loved him and how he made me feel. I loved having sex with him. Despite my legs, we could still reclaim back a little of the old us and it made me feel happier that I could make him feel good, because I disappointed him not going back to school when I had got his hopes up.

He stayed overnight and all morning, he stayed for breakfast and we shared coffee in bed lazily and in a weird way it felt almost normal, a new normal.

He left for school when my therapist had come over around 1 in the afternoon. Emily had gone to her cleaning shift and my father had his appointment after mine. Emily still insisted on going to work despite being pregnant as she was in her early weeks but my father was still objective.

My therapist had started with get to know me questions scouting out exactly who she was dealing with. But without me even realising she had managed to bore her way to the centre of why she was really here:
"I won't push you Olivia but to progress with the treatment of your PTSD, you do have to try recall what happened." She coaxed with a notepad in hand.

She was around the same age as my father, she had this dimpled smile which was nice, and tanned skin. I liked the way she kept her textured hair natural. She was decent enough looking which made me want to tell her things. I was just scared.

I shifted uncomfortably and took a deep breath. I had acknowledged what happened before school with Miles but we hadn't really spoken about why it had happened.
"Seeing them made everything feel so real, which sounds dumb since I am living with the injury's from it." I think out loud. Of course, the accident was real, but it felt so prominent in that moment.

"It's not dumb Olivia, I understand, often triggers put victims back into the position of being right there in the accident." She shook her head.

"It was kind of like that. I was still with Miles at school but also I was also on the bus, the two things became blurred as one." I nodded and she stared at me listening intently to what I had to say.

I took a deep breath as I realised she was expecting me to continue.
"I remember the day leading up to the accident fine, and I remember getting on the coach even." I started to explain.

"And then Maya came over and asked to switch with me. So I agreed.....and then I was standing up on the bus-" I cut myself off and my eyes already were welling up with tears.