Language of the Heart

02112018

I've spent a lot of time
Trying to find myself...
Trying to find me in you...
Because somehow, I thought you had the answer
Since your eyes reflected my happiness (then)
Your smile made me feel alive again
Your laughter made me think
I was making a difference...

But here I am...
Sitting alone in a place that's so brand new
I never thought I'd love to stay longer...
And as I looked at the view
Of the sea from afar
As the wind blew
And got my hair a little bit messy,
I felt something new...
I realized something I wasn't able to see
While I though there was you and me.

It became clear to me
That after all those years,
After all the distance,
After we truly grew apart...
I realized I have already found myself...
Not with you
And the memories that I thought were special,
Not with the idea that I was once happy
When I thought I am your someone special,
Not with the thought
That I can only find myself
If there was you and me.

I realized that I can still be myself...
Even if I hadn't met you.
I realized that I shouldn't have tried to find myself
Everytime I looked into your eyes
Believing we had all the beautiful sparks.
I realized that I have found myself
With all the scars and pain of the past
Hadn't all these wounds and hurt happened,
I wouldn't have realized I was stronger
Than I thought I could ever be.

I realized that I have found myself
In times of being alone..
Or being mixed with people of different colors...
In instances where I could only depend
On what my heart wanted me to follow
And what my mind tells me I could do.
In a lot of ways,
Where I wasn't thinking of you
Or finding in a rush the one who's destined for me.

I realized that I found myself
And I am now ready for what's ahead of me.