LightWeight

Step Twenty-Eight

            To put it easy, let’s just say a secretary was fired that same night.

Yes, my Mom was in the hospital.

No, she was not in a surgery, or even planned to get a surgery. She has fainted at the store with her friend and was getting extra test done.

Yes, they wanted me to come in.

No, it wasn’t for anything extremely deadly. The new was actually good, or bad, depending on if you look at the glass as half empty or full. After getting the tests done, the doctor discovered no change in cells. Absolutely nothing. This meant two things: the treatments were beginning to work, or they would come back with a vengeance. One comforted me to the max, while the other sent a violent shiver down me. The thought of more cells coming to kill her…it was the only thing that could scare me now.

But that was yesterday. My birthday was an eventful day, to say the least.  A lot happened, that can affect a lot of things. I haven’t spoken to Jailee. She isn’t answering her phone, and no one knows where she’s at. I had to call her Mom just to make sure she was okay- Jai wasn’t stupid. She knew her Mom would fly down here and whoop her tail if she even thought of hurting herself again, or word got out she disappeared for however long. She knew to call her Mom and tell her where she was. So a good thing is she’s safe in a hotel somewhere, bad news is her Mom swore not to tell anyone unless need be.

The person I had spoken to was Calvin. In fact, I was walking in the studio with him now since he agreed to come to the studio with me. I was making an EP album, at first because I knew this new album might take a while to finish, but now because there might not be another album.

I hadn’t told anybody yet, but I’m considering leaving the music industry alone for a lot of reasons. Music just isn’t the same for me right now, and I don’t want that to negatively impact anything. I put myself in as someone who did it as a passion, which I did, but too many other things are going on in my life for me to really do that. How can you give someone else your all when you don’t even know what your all is anymore? Then it was because I wanted to go to college. I had received acceptance letters already and even one to my dream college since I was born. Education was always first in my life, because Music is so temporary, and one day you’re on the top and the next you can be unknown. I just wanted a back-up plan.

“Finally decided to stop ignoring me.” Leslie said as we walked in.

“I’ve been ignoring a lot of people, Les.” I walked in the booth, my body and sense already knowing to get straight to business.

“Trust- you aren’t.” CJ said, lounging on the coach behind the sound equipment.

“Okay, so which track do you want to do?” Leslie asked.

“Um….the last one- no, seven.”

“Alright.”

            I stood in the booth, headphones over my ears to block out any other noise besides the music. Swaying a little to the beat, I opened my eyes to start singing.

“The slightest words you said/ Have all gone to my head/I hear angels sing in your voice/When you pull me close/Feelings I’ve never known/They mean everything/And leave me no choice”

Again, the intensity was one I would typically look away too. But not today. This time, I kept his gaze, despite the noticeable blush I knew was on my face.

“Light on my heart, light on my feet/Light in your eyes I can’t even speak/Do you even know how you make me weak?”

I was pretty sure he did, but I was okay with that. I can hardly count the number of guys that tried to break through but gave up. He kept trying with me, and didn’t give up like everyone before him. For that, he deserves the ability to make me weak in the knees and my heart run a mile race whenever he smiles at me. It’s okay.