LightWeight

Step Twenty-Two

I sat in the chair of the hospital waiting room, rocking myself back and forth with a blanket rested over my shoulders. Leslie had draped it over me a few hours ago. It was now five in the afternoon, we had been here since one, and I felt as if an entire week had already passed by. I couldn't close my eyes; I continuously stared ahead of me at a little blue dot on the Nurse's Station desk. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw Jailee’s lifeless body in that tub. I see the pink water and I see her blond her in strings all around her face.

I jumped as someone placed their hands on my back. Looking up, I saw it was Leslie. She rubbed my back soothingly, and I eventually moved her hand away. The motion was too comforting. I felt myself softening up, and I felt tears beginning to welt in my eyes. I refused to cry again.

"How is she?" We heard two hours ago that they were able to stop her bleeding and that open her airways, but now they needed to regulate her heartbeat. They were also trying to see if her stomach needed to be pumped because they thought she possibly swallowed some pills too.

"She's asking to see you." Leslie told me. "She's in room 165, right around the corner."

I nodded my head, stretching my legs out for the first time since arriving here. The waiting room was only occupied with us on the tour, each of us in our own sorrow. Though, I don't think anyone's is worse than Tonya and mine's. To see her body there...and feel her skin cold.

I opened the door to the hospital room. The smell of clean assaulted my nose. The machine made a beeping noise that was only a little off if you weren't listening to it. No one else was in the room, but the blankets on the couch said something else.

"Hi." Star said, though her voice was weak as could be.

"Hey." I pulled a chair to the side of the bed. I couldn't help but notice the IV shooting a white liquid through her veins and the white bandages that covered both of her arms from the wrist to the elbow. "Jai...why? Why would you-"

"I know." She interrupted me. "I know, I know, I know. It was stupid and reckless and selfish and everything else in the damn book. I know." Tears flowed freely form my eyes. "It's just...Everything was so...It was...Lyric..."

"I know..." I held her hand in mine, scared to touch her skin again. She looked weak, and as if she gave up. "It's...Everything....I'm here for you."

After a few seconds, she wiped both of her eyes and stared at the ceiling. "He was cheating on me." She whispered. "I don't know how long, but he was, and he lied to me- in my face. He told me he wasn't, and he was. And...it hurts. It hurts, because I thought he wouldn't hurt me, and I convinced myself to believe what he said, even if I knew it was a lie."

And she broke down. I did nothing but hold her. I held her in my arms, ignoring her skin that was still cold and as she soaked my clothes, because, it's what I would want someone to do for me.

"Okay listen up," The words made me lift my head up. I was shocked to see I was back in the waiting room, because I had no recollections of coming out here. Tonya was standing in front of me, and the entire crew surrounded me. Outside the sun was setting, but in here activity was still buzzing as Doctors and Nurses went back and forth. I sat up, pulling my feet back into the chair. I hate hospitals. I always have. "So, due to recent situations, I've decided to pull Star form the group, permanently. She will not be performing in any shows or anything. No interview, recordings, anything. Not until we can fix whatever is wrong with her."

I hated how she said fix, like she had a disease or something. I hated that word "fix" like you were a damaged product that could be sent to a shop and appear back whole as if nothing ever happened to you.