The Morning After [s.m]

Chapter 3

Chapter 3
The Morning After
Shawn Mendes
754 Words
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I groan as I wake up to my bed softly shaking. I look to my side and see my mother sitting on the edge, rubbing my shoulder. He has the most pitiful expression on her face and I can barely stand to look at her. I love her, truly, but I can't handle anyone right now. She moves closer "Hey baby, are you okay?" I turn my back to her and chuckle to myself "Take a wild guess. Once you're done with that, please leave me alone. I'm sorry but I need it." I ramble it all and hear her sigh and get up "Okay, I understand. Just stay safe." After that, silence settles back in and I'm left alone. I get up from my bed and grab the first pad of paper I can find and set it down on my desk. I shakily pick up a pen and start writing it all. What I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, what I'm doing. Before I know it pages are flying by me, filled from one end to another. I finish writing a few pages from the end, not because of lack of words but because of exhaustion. I sit back in my chair and lightly skim the pages, only fuelling my anger more. I push up and pace around the cabin almost as quickly as my thoughts are passing. I can barely stand my own voice at this point and frantically search for any alcohol I have. I find champagne and two flutes meant for me and her but now it's only me. Me, myself, and I. I push the glasses aside and pop the bottle, paying no attention to the foam spilling. I take a long sip straight from the bottle and feel my conscience slowing down. I set the bottle back down and take a deep breath. Simply the thought of a few hours of peace is brining a wicked smile to my face. I go on and off, sip then slow down. I kept doing it until everything had frozen. The fire inside me was diminished to ashes and my warm heart encased in ice. It's better this way, I told myself. They can't hurt my feelings if there aren't any in the first place. While the alcohol was able to convince me I was right, I made friends with my new, cynical self. To much of my dismay, it wasn't able to do that for long enough. Long enough as in forever. I can barely utter the word, forever. It means nothing. Beginnings come with endings and there is no exception to that rule. The flaws in my philosophy come hurling at me so I dodge its hits the only way I know how to, sleep.
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I frown, the pulsing ache in my head rousing me at once. I see the faint shape of a bottle and put two and two together. Regrets pings me while I slowly get up, reaching for water. The cool liquid brings instant relief, alongside pain killers. The light breeze coming from the window blows a sheet of paper to my feet. I lean down curiously and pick it up, reading every word. I finish reading but the page never leaves my hands. Every word seems to be flawlessly chosen. The fire that I imagined unlit hours before was now replaced by churning gears, moving without meaning. I read the next page I find, then the one that follows, until they run out. The ice wrapping my heart was shattered and substituted with a steel casing, impenetrable. This was gonna be her loss and my gain. I'll never need more again, I'll always want more. My destroyed image of a future was slowly piecing itself back together. All that's left to do is make it a reality. I erase all evidence of my weaknesses and let my finger linger over his phone number. That sequence of numbers will ruin her and restore me. I truly don't know why I keep thinking if such, I don't need more convincing. This will be good for me, I know it. I call Andrew confidently. He answers on the first ring and breathes out "What the hell are you doing?" I smirk to myself and answer him "How soon can you get me a studio?"

A/N: Sorry about the short update! I've been away so it was kind of rushed. Thanks for reading and remember to vote and comment! ❤️