I always passed his house from work. But I never seen him. I never heard from him. Ski had let me go. I had purchased a condo not so far just to I could have a reason to walk by. Maybe he would pop up.
He just disappeared. He had disappeared and I missed him. A voice in the back of my mind was telling me that he was dead but I knew he wasn't. I was a model now. A big time one. Wherever Jah was I hope he was proud.
I walked walks to my condo and kissed my moms cheek. God news what that she had hung herself but she had did it that day and the doctors were able to revive her. She had cut her blood circulation so they had to keep her for a while. But when she was better she was eager to meet Jahseh. She told me that it wasn't his fault and she was dumb and was stressed. She had her fair share of her words of disappointment to tell me because I was wrong for telling him what I had said.
It hurt me every day. "You need to find him and apologize" she said as she knitted some gloves. It was mid winter.
I set a mug of hot chocolate in front of her and blew on my own. "How? I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to see me" I said.
"I heard that he stopped doing music and turned to the streets. "She said. My eyes widened. "Why?"
"Because someone made him feel that he wasn't good enough " she said pointing her needles at me. I sighed. "I'm gonna go find him" I said .
So I strolled through the ghetto. Trying to find him. Minutes turned into hours and hours into minutes. Then I began to cry as I sat on a bench.
I cried for an hour. My head in my lap.
Someone sat next to me. "Miss are you okay? Why you crying" the rough voice said. "I love someone and I let them go because I was retarded" I said not looking up.
"Oh. I loved someone and they wanted me to die " he whispered. I nodded. I felt warm around this stranger for some reason.
"That was mean. I did the same thing. I wish I could've took it back" I whispered. Then it was quiet. Only he rustle of the wind.
"Well I hope you find your guy miss. It was nice talking to you" the guy said and then I felt cold as he left.
I sighed and walked the opposite way. Once I reached my house my mom was fast asleep. I kissed her cheek and put her knittting away and then made my way to do my night routine.
First I took my shower, then brushed my teeth, and then texted Jahseh's old phone number. Even though I know he wouldn't answer.
Jah ❤️- currently day 171 without you. I love you, I'm sorry. I truly am. It hurts Jah. I want you to be here with me. Ma is okay. She loves you too. She scolds me everyday. I scold myself everyday...
I put my phone off and prepared to cry myself to sleep.
I woke up and got dressed into something simple but cozy.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I had to go get my moms medicine. So I proceeded through the ghetto because that was the only way to the pharmacy. I put my hoodie on my head as it covered some of my mouth and my hands were warm in my pockets.
I kicked stray rocks. There was a violent noise. I didn't flinch or stir because I know that's what this place was known for. Men were screaming or cheering.
I looked to see a guy beating the shit out of another guy.
"I SAID I DONT PLAY WITH NIGGAS DAWG!" The rough voice said. I pushed through to see a guy stomping on another guys head as blood splattered. The guy was unconscious but No one seem to stop him.
"Aye get off him" I yelled. Everyone looked scared as they saw the boy look up. He had a ski mask on. He couldn't see my face and I couldn't see his.
He came close to me. "Fuck outta here bitch" he said.
"You ain't nothing but all bark" I spat. They guys Ouued.
Then I pushed past him and helped the guy up who had been knocked out. I tooo my water bottle from my bag and poured it on his face. He sat up. "It's okay" I said giving him some water and helping him up. He smiled at me.
Then I mean mugged the ski mask guy and walked away.
I entered the pharmacy. As I entered I saw one of the managers throwing out an x album.
"What are you doing?" I spat.
"We've been ordered to take all x Merck off the market" he said holding up a bag of x phone cases and hoodies and albums.
"I'll take it" I said. He shrugged giving me the bag. I smiled. "Where are you x you need to fix this" I whispered. I walked outside to see it raining. I loved the rain. He made me love the rain.
I sat on the bench but I jumped when I seen the boy with the ski mask.
He threw rocks. He saw me and moved away. "Trust me I ain't wanna be near you either" I said.
He took off his ski mask and threw it to the side of the bench. My eyes widened as tears welled up in my eyes.
"
"Jahseh" I whispered. "If you a fan sorry I disappointed you." He mumbled.
"They threw these all away. You fucked up why?" I asked. He didn't know who I was yet. To him I was a random fan. "I loved a girl. She was my all" he chuckled bitterly.
"She wanted me to die. I was gonna grant her wish. But I decided to just disappear for a while. Not until I get closure from her. She texts me you know. But I can't bring myself to check them"
"What does she say" I asked.
"Last one I read was when it was three months after. She said she loved me and that in my eyes she could-
"See the world. And the mystery that was unsolved in your heart. You compelled me and I never meant to hurt you. I was only hurting myself. I had remorse. But I wanted someone to blame..." I said taking off my hoodie.
"I-I wanted someone to take the pain away" I whispered. He looked at me as he was stuck.
"I gotta go" he said.
"Where x. They put your house for sale you know. You have nowhere to go. Just come home with me" I pleaded. He looked down "Okay" he whispered.
So he followed me as the rain wet my hair. We reached the house and my mom jumped as she saw Jah.
She hugged him and he hugged her back.
"Shower is upstairs " I told him.
"Ski had given me all your stuff Incase... it's in the guest room"I whispered.
He nodded.
He went into the bathroom.
"Oh I'm so happy" my mom said doing a little dance as I chuckled.
I went upstairs and took off my jacket and clothes leaving me in a spandex shorts and nike bra.
I blow dried my hair. My door opened and Jahseh told there shirtless with basketball shorts on. He sat on my bed. " you broke me" he said.
That stung. "I know"
"But you can stab my heart a thousand times if you'd like. I always be in love with you" he whispered. I breathed shakily.
"I wanna fuck you" he said bluntly. My heart beat picked up. "My mo-
"I wanna take all my anger out on your pussy" he said again. I put the comb down.
He watched as I sat next to him on the bed.
"Then. Do it " I whispered in his ear.
🤤 oh snap. Let me know if y'all want the scene. But anyways she found him 🤣🤣🤣✊🏽
