"Ruin and Redemption"

The Decision is Made and the Results are Buried

“Of course I do! I don’t want some white chile comin' out of me! I don’t want no more babys no ways. I ain’t got no time to mess with no little uns. 'Tween the work and Mr. Derrick I ain’t got no time free!" Scarlett insisted.

“None of us do…but Scarlett, Derrick don’t have any kids with Lizzie. If this child were white…” Patsy implored.

“I ain’t givin them no white chile to raise as dey own! Miz Lizzie already got two of mine!”

“Alright, Scarlett, I’ll get the herbs for you. But it could be dangerous. They make you bleed it out, an’ sometime the blood don’t stop. Sometime it bleed your life away too,” Patsy cautioned.

Scarlett’s voice trembled, “I take my chances, Patsy.”

“I’ll pray for you! And I’ll start collectin’ the herbs whenever Derrick is out and Lizzie give me some free time.”

“You aren’t telling her are you?”

“No, I just tell her I need some mo’ herbs for the people sufferin’ with the gout.”

“Good, cause it ain’t none of her bizness! It ain’t my fault her husband ain’t satisfy! It ain’t my fault he come to me…and ain’t I a woman? Cain’t hep it if I get happy sometime over it? Hell, I ought to be up there in that house with him, not her! I could make him happy all de time den!” Scarlett ranted.

“Michael belonged to you, maybe. But Derrick is married. You ain’t never gon’ be up in that Big House with him, wouldn’t matter if he were single. You might be lighter than the rest of us, but you still can’t marry no white man.”

“Hmmph. I could if I were white, though. I swear I ought to be white. Den Miz Lizzie would be my slave. That’s how it ought to be!”

“Hmmph. I don’t want no slaves myself. I jus’ want to be free to make my own life with my kids. I love Lizzie, but I’m done with her. She ain’t no child no more," Patsy responded.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“You get de herbs for me, Patsy?” 

“They're here, Scarlett. But we got to make up a fire and put the kettle on and boil them with some water first.”

“I got de water already Patsy. I been to the pump.”

“Alright then, let’s get it boilin'. You sure you want to go through with this, Scarlett? Sometime it hurts, an’ the blood could kill you."

“You think childbearin’ don’t hurt none? Weren’t you there when I had my babies?”

“Course I was! You’re sure you don’t want another? This little one could be all yours…and if you use the herbs on this one, you might not get no other put in you.”