Bryony Lavery, Writer

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Dearest, Brother

I am glad you like the scarf and that it is keeping you warm.

It is my first completed knitting endeavour so I am thrilled you like it so.

Today, I am wearing, as always, the lovely brooch you gave meat our parting.

I hope this letter reaches you very soon because my heart is aching sorely over our silly last argument.

I am so mortified that I made such a spectacle of myself on our own village station platform.

I am sorry we parted still not in accord.

My kiss was cold, my embrace was cold,  my goodbye wave miserably  half-hearted.

I am so sorry that I opined, in our last few moments together, that I believed war to be such a silly, wasteful, headstrong, dangerous, boyish  solution to anything.

Such an impossibly final strategy for change.

You are committed to this war so it was very wrong of me to part not supporting you.

I am so unhappy in my unkind treatment of you.

I am such a very bad sister.

Since you left, I have, every day,  tried and tried and tried in my truest heart to think the best of  and truly support my favourite brother in his love of this war.

[You did indeed seem , on the platform, so like a lover off to meet his sweetheart!]

Since your departure, I have forced myself to imagine what good comes of it,

I have tried to see its best side, I have tried to change my stupid obdurate female mind.

I have searched the library for war’s meaning.

Old High German  verran  “to confuse, perplex,” helps me not at all…

My Latin dictionary, which sees a link between bellum – war and bello – beautiful encourages me to strive to discover its beauty….

The scholars I have consulted  are divided…

Half of them see warfare as inescapable and integral to human nature..

Others argue it is only inevitable under certain circumstances.

Oh, why are we so apart in heart and body in these certain circumstances?

My dreams have been all of  reckless governments, foolish generals, families torn asunder,  horrible wounds..and , somehow, worst of all,  boys deceived.

Understand, I commanded my heart.

And I have succeeded, in the smallest of ways I think…

I love you, therefore I  must trust you.

It must  be necessary for our future otherwise surely our wise guardians would have all  done everything they possibly could to avoid it.

If you believe it is inescapable, then you must be right.

If you believe it integral to your nature, then it is.

If you trust that this war will make the world a better place, then so do I.

It will make things better.

It must extend our knowledge of life.

It must thrill and excite us.

This will, as you assured me on our village platform, be the war to end all wars

Because you and all sensible men could only fight in it  if it were so.

So, there you are.  Victory!

The Day is yours!

You have stormed and destroyed the entrenchments of all my doubts and fears.

To battle, dearest brother!

You see how our disagreement ends in forgiveness and love.

And forget that foolish girl who told you, as you left, that she thought that to knit a warm scarf for someone you care for is a better endeavour than any war anywhere.

Your loving sister

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