Just an average fattie

Never Thin Enough.

A few months ago, nobody wanted me. Now there are two? How could this be? I'm the same peson, thinner, but not thin enough. 

Never fucking thin enough. 

As I'm engulfed into my dreadful thoughts a knock appears on the door. You can tell by the knock that whoever is knocking is also shaking. 

I open the door, "You ready for work?" Camden says, I give him a quick nod and we leave. 

The car ride is silent, no music. I try to start a conversation, "So, how are you?" 

"Fine." He replies quick, grasping the steering wheel tightly. I can tell he's upset, I try to explain what happened with Eli.

"Look, he came over to talk to you. He didn't come over to kiss-"

"Who?" He says, turning his head so fast I was sure he had whiplash. 

"Eli, of coarse."

"He kissed you?" Not taking his eyes off of me, I could see the rage. I debated on teasing with him or just telling him nothing happened. I kind of feel like being a bitch. 

"Not exactly, you jealous?" i say, smirking.

"Of you? Or him for that matter? Never." He says, not returning his eyes to the road. 

"Liar," I say turning in my seat to the front again just barely catching what was about to happen, "Watch out!" I scream.

Too late. 

We swerve, I feel arms engulfing my body, protecting it. I can feel the car flip about 7 times. Each time makes me black out a little more, especially with the weight of Camden on top of me. By the last time, I'm gone.

--

I wake up in a white room. It reminds me of my mother. So pristine, classy even. 

"Julie!" A little six year old voice says to me. 

"Are you okay?" I hug her as I ask.

She giggles, "Why are you asking me? You were the one in the accident!"

I laugh as well, "Fair enough. When did this happen?"

"They say like a day ago, you've been sleeping a lot sissy, this nice man has been taking care of me since! I don't know who he is, but he said he was one of your friends!" She points up to someone who surprised me.

Eli. 

You could tell in his eyes that he'd been crying. But, why? 

"Okay, sweetie. I know him, can you go and get me a snack from the machine?" 

"Uhm, sure!" She says, giving me a quick hug and leaving with my money. 

"Who was in the car with me? I barely remember anything. Why are you crying?" I say, getting more worried every second he looks at the floor with his piercing blue eyes that I love all too much. 

"Camden." My heart sank. I felt as though a piece of me has been ripped out of my already aching body, I sink back into my bed.

"How is he?" 

"Juli-"

"How. Is. He?" I'm screaming at this point, eyes tearing.

"He's not good. He saved you, but in the process he hurt himself pretty bad." Eli says, getting quieter and shakier by the second. 

I start to get up out of the bed, but something stops me. 

"Let me go, I have to see him." I say, pushing my weak arms against his strong ones.

"You don't want to see him." He shoves me, hard. I fall onto my bed and try to get up again.

"Yes. I do. Just, take me to him. Please." I say, begging him to just let me see Camden for about one minute. Just to know he's alive, and real. 

Eli sighs, taking his hands off of my shoulders and actually helps me. One arm around my waist and the other holding my hand. He has such soft hands, gentle hands. 

We reach the room, it's in ICU. 

I almost collapse when I see him. Practically lifeless. I run to his bed, grabbing his bruised and bandaged hand. Not as soft, callused. I could tell he worked hard to keep breathing even. 

"Camden, I heard what you did," I say, squeezing his hand gently, "you saved me. I'm so sorry." 

He gently squeezes my hand, barely. It might not have been much, but it gave me a shred of hope.

I stay with him all night.