Stained {Nemi}

Chapter Twenty

Nick

I wish it was simple to just leave her alone. She has some other guy to go back to even if I've been spending the night here for a week straight. We're both being selfish with this... I'm not even sure what to call it. An affair? I don't know what it is that we're doing, but she's not telling me to stop. She kept calling after we both agreed that was the last time.

First she wanted someone to help her finish painting her walls. Then it was to repair her bathroom cabinets. Then a thank-you drink, which turned in to drinks and ended with thank-you sex for a week straight. Now it's "Nick I'm going back to L.A for a while," and that's when I had to pinch myself awake and ask myself is this just lust or love?

Could I love her more than myself to let her drag me down again? Or is it me just being a man and proving to her that she's still mine without her ever having to say it out loud? That's such a deadly dilemma, but when it's good who could blame a man? After all we're all only human.

Not like I didn't see it coming either, her leaving again, but I've messed up. She got into my head, broke down a few walls I've had up for years. It's like she has me all figured out now and has made it impossible for me to say no to her. When she needed someone to talk to I made myself available. Listening to her tell me about her career and her house in Malibu. About USC and almost flunking her first year. How she met this Zac guy.

When she was opening up to me about her boyfriend I was surprised I didn't slap the taste out of her mouth. The girl was ballsy or either playing with me. Fucking me up inside and damn was she really fucking with me. Still, I was there listening as if it wasn't bothering me and in some twisted way I beginning to understand why she left. California was her breath of fresh air, her cigarette during her lunch break. It was something she honestly needed after all that was happening to her. I just wish I didn't get so burnt during the process.

I scratched the back of my neck as Demi dragged the last of her bag into the living room for me to carry to her rental car. Her body graceful moving across the room to stand in front of me while she wore a bright smile to go along with her flower sundress. I was feeling anything other than happy. She was breaking me down all over again and I'm just letting her do it.

"Nick you're such an angel for helping me...with everything," she tells me, playing with her fingers.

Giving her a half smile and a head nod, I picked up her bag. Carrying it outside in a rush so she nor I would say something stupid. I heard her shuffle around behind me as I went for the door. Walking down the porch steps and to the convertible she rented. Tossing the bag into the car I heard the front door slam shut and the dangling of keys locking it. I posted against her car and watched her prance down the three wooden steps and through the red path of dirt leading to her car.

A part of me wanted to chuckle at her being so happy and light on her feet because I was the cause of that. But the other side of me, the side that knew this couldn't last long, wanted to trip her up for being so excited to go back to him. For her to look up at me and slow down I guess I couldn't mask the thought of tripping her as well as I thought I was doing.

"I'll be back Nick,"

She was saying it like her leaving was suppose to mean something to me. As if she wasn't about to go home to a guy that's not me. I only shrugged and stood waiting, for what? I don't know, but I couldn't move my feet to leave now that all her bags were put into her car and she was eager to go.

Demi slowly eased to me and wrapped her arm around my waist, hugging me before getting on her tippy toes to give me a kiss. A soft peck on the lips that quickly lead me to want another that I was cupping her head and tilting it so I could give her a 'just incase' kiss. Just incase she's starting to forget about this week and how she shared it with me.

Our mouth moving together as our tongues touched and pushed against each other. Me caressing behind her ear as she sucked on my tongue and pressed her body into mine. Feeling the gentleness of her against me I moved my hands to travel down to her waist, wrapping them around her and squeezing the roundness of her pert ass through the fabric of her dress. I felt her start to laugh and grab at my arm.

"Nick," she giggled against my mouth as our foreheads laid against each other. Our chest heaving up and down trying to catch our breaths.

"What?" I quietly ask her.

She just shook her head and continued to lay against my body. Her hands now rubbing up and down my forearms. I gave her her moment and just held her.

"Thank you, Nick. You don't know how much you being here means to me. I.. appreciate you so much."

She deserves an oscar right now.

"I hope you have a nice trip, Demi." I tell her, leaning into her ear and whispering, "Don't think about me too much when you're around him."

Giving her a mocking kiss on the cheek I made her speechless. Unwrapping myself from her and putting some distance between us, I dug my hands into my pockets as she brushed a few loose strands of hair back behind her ear. She looked at the ground, picking her face up I believe.

"Hold your head up, beautiful." You could hear the teasing clearly and as I began to walk backwards to my truck I didn't care. She doesn't know how much it means to me to be here. And how she makes me flip I don't think she'll ever know either.

Demi tried to quickly recover, but I winked at her to assure her I'm only messing with her. "Nick-"

"I won't tell anybody. Your California boy gotta prize in his hands and baby if I didn't win it then it ain't none of mine." Laughing at myself I gave her a dry wave goodbye.

Getting into my truck Demi stayed in the same spot I left her in. Arms folded tightly underneath her breast that I've put my mouth on every inch of and a scowl planted in her face.

"Be safe baby,"

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Driving back to town I listened to my radio and the dispatcher saying there was a dispute near the area I'm in. Picking up the call I let her know I'd be there in five minutes. Maybe now that Demi is gone I could really focus back on my job and better our search on the thief that we haven't managed to catch.

The way my head was set up and my feelings so distraught I was glad to have fallen in my dad's footsteps in becoming a police officer. Being taught to hide emotions and control your aggression, when to let it out and how to keep your voice leveled and flat, I'm forever grateful for my job because even though Demi said she would be back wasn't enough confirmation for me to remain calm and not panic. It's like trying to keep a level head while running through a long dark tunnel that's beginning to spin as you think you're reaching the opening. Only it stretches for another mile long and the turn of the tunnel speeds up, making you stumble and fall. Hands scratched up and a bruised chin to go along with the rest of the pain you're in.

Demi is poison, this entire fucking thing we have going on is toxic. Like carbon dioxide filling up a car with us both inside, the windows rolled all the way up and I'm the idiot playing with the keys. Not starting the car so we could let the windows down to breathe, ready to end all the feelings and memories.

Work was the perfect thing to help keep my mind off Demi and the confusing feelings that she brewed.

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"Innocence Lost" -Erik Hassle ft. Tinashe