Stained {Nemi}

Chapter Fifteen

Demi

Opening my eyes there was an odd calmness in the air. My mind quiet and not rushing with thoughts. My body feeling light and heavy at the same time. Smiling, I felt like I was waking up on a soundless beach. All was good before hell broke loose. Images of my naked body and an once upon a time lover flashed in my head. No. Sounds of passion filling my ears as I heard my own voice whisper and shout his name. Oh God. Brown eyes not letting up on who to remember, what we shared, and how I easily gave it all up. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Trying to sit up and examine myself the white sheets hide my nudity. Mouth hanging open in shock I looked around the empty room, making the mistake of moving too fast. Pain throbbed in places it has never been before and more than odd, it didn't hurt in painful ways. It just let me know that it was pleasured with pain. Holding the covers over my aching breast I looked around my room. Everything was in place beside my night gown thrown into the corner of my door. As I stared at the small pile of pink his face leaning over mine with his eyes cold and void.

He fucked me lastnight.

Heart racing I covered my mouth and squeezed the duvet with the other. All too well everything came pouring back. From the moment I meet Nick, when he became my bestfriend, our first kiss, the first time he told me he was in love with me, everything came rushing back. Countless nights talking about dreams and sharing secrets, letting me know his fears. When his dad died and things got a little out of hand at their house, how I snuck him into the barn at night. How I stood by him through everything and watched as he grew up before us all, taking drastic measures to keep food on their table. Still, with his life screwing up he continued to love me like he had no worries. My bottom lip trembled as I realized how fucked up I really am by giving him up.

Pulling my legs up to my chest my heart ached with tears free falling down my cheeks. I felt just like I did on that night when I left him sound asleep. I soon began to sob myself back to sleep.

________

One of the worst migraines woke me a few hours after noon. Heavy eyelids slowly lifted up as the sun slipped into my room, lighting it as though the lightbulb above my head was switched on. Sitting up in the bed I squinted at the window, remembering that I had forgotten to replace the curtains and place a set of blinds there. The bare window reminding her of even more fresh touches from last night. Nick did things to her she's never had done and the more she sat and thought back on the clear memory, the more her feelings began to swivel and swirl in confusion.

Lastnight became Demi's first time ever being unfaithful. It made her feel dirty, but at the same time she couldn't fight away the tenderness that longed her heart at the thoughts of Nick. Where had he learned those things? How did he still remember just how to touch me, making me feel impeccable. He made me feel wanted more than air itself and it's scary at how unknown I'm beginning to feel. Shaking away new arriving tears I quickly climbed out of bed.

I walked into my bathroom and stepped inside of the shower. The hot water making it way from the shower head and down my body. Closing my eyes the hot liquid shooting out like bullets exposed the bite marks all over my flesh. It seemed like Nick didn't take any chances on missing out on claiming the body that carried the heart he was reviving back to life with just one look of the eye. Salty tears mixing in with the water as one of the most saddest sobs came from me, coming from deep within and causing me to lean against the glass door for support.

Praying to be sucked away from life I cried until the water was cold and even still, I sat on the floor letting the cold seep down my body. Aches and kinks and pain rocking my body back and forth. This all reminded me how self-destructive I was just years ago, feeling like it was just yesterday. Relapsing with a drug called Nick.