XXV

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{tw: suicidal thoughts??? it's not a huge thing, just a couple passing mentions, but better safe than sorry}

They tried their best, Josh had to give them that.

Time and time again, they went brought the same procedure to try to break his mind open and replace his thoughts with their cultist bullshit that he was having none of. But time and time again, they failed and Josh would always wake up with memory loss and a big axe to grind.

Let's just Heaven's Templar lost a lot of members in the days/weeks/months following the shock brainwashing therapy.

Even so, the experiments didn't go without affecting Josh both physically and emotionally. He started to have blackouts, snippets of time lost that he couldn't remember. All he knew is that those times he wasn't awake were bloody.

Once, Josh woke up on the roof of the facility- the sunset was beautiful from outside, the trees covering the land and setting a somber yet comforting atmosphere- and found that not only had he been shot twice in his chest, but he was covered head to toe in blood, and it wasn't his.

The words they told him would echo in his head in the middle of the day/night, and sometimes he found himself muttering the words like a prayer.

"Burning, winter, nine, rabbit, taxi cab. Burning, winter, nine, rabbit, taxi cab."

It became so painful that Josh started to consider killing himself. Out of the only two options he had left- become a zombie assassin for a cult or die- it seemed like the more appealing of the two. And it would be so easy for him, too. He was strong enough to break the bulletproof glass with a single punch now, and he was sure that the wiring in the walls would be able to keep him suspended in the air long enough to kill him.

But then Josh would hear two particular screams, Jenna's, then Tyler's, and he knew that he couldn't leave them there. They were both beyond resisting the torture now, he could tell. The scientists in Heaven's Templar already rewired their internal circuits. All they needed was for Josh to give in, and they'd have to whole collection.

When he saw Gerard for the first time since they were kidnapped, he was accompanied by Tyler, who wore a muzzle-like mask. His eyes weren't glazed over, but they were cold and empty.

"What do you want?" Josh scowled, watching the two stand on the opposite side of the glass.

He was still strapped the the operating chair, but he didn't try to break free. The restraints weren't made to keep him there, they were meant to test his strength. He didn't want to give Gerard the satisfaction knowing the experiments work.

As tempted as Josh was to break free and launch himself through the flimsy window and snap Gerard's neck, he didn't move. He watched Tyler, trying to find a flicker of hope in his darkened eyes.

"I see you've finally met the real Tyler," Gerard said with a small smile on his lips.

Josh didn't respond, which fueled Gerard to continue speaking.

"I have come with a proposition. Tyler here has been wiped completely clean, so he is completely willing to kill anything and anyone on my command."

"I don't care if you make him kill me," Josh growled. "I don't care if you make me do push-ups in drag. I am not drinking the damn kool aid."

Gerard smiled, which pissed Josh off more than he already was. He pulled out a gun and handed it to Tyler, who pressed it under his own chin.

Josh shot up in his, the straps across his arms and chest coming apart like confetti.

"Wait," He croaked, his throat closing up.

"Tyler, on the count of three, put a bullet in your head. One."

Josh ripped his legs out, running up to the glass and crashing into it unceremoniously. "Don't, please."

"Two-"

"Just give me a-" Tyler cocked the gun, never breaking eye contact with Josh.

"Three."

"No, no, no, stop! Please, stop! I'll do it! Just- just don't hurt him, please."

Josh was pleading at this point, his ego gone and crushed into oblivion. He didn't care at that point if he sounded desperate, he was. Tyler was his lifeline and his only hope of getting out alive. If he died and Josh knew he could've prevented it- he might as well be dead.

Gerard said something in Romanian, and the gun slipped out of Tyler's hand, the loud clang making Josh flinch. A wide crooked smile overtook Gerard's face, and he turned to walk to the back of the room, waving nonchalantly over his shoulder.

Tyler's eyes went hazy and he dropped to the ground like a puppet whose strings were cut. Josh slid down the glass, a low whimper of pain crawling it's way up his chest and lodging itself in the back of his throat.

He felt too weak to break the glass, watching helplessly as two men dragged Tyler into his room and dropped him at the entrance. As soon as the door slammed shut, Gerard stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"Oh god," Josh whispered, both realization and fear setting in.

They had a weakness now.

"Pleasure doing business with you..." Gerard turned back around and walked out, but his voice still rang through the speaker. "Blue."

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