A Thousand Things About One Direction

Chapter 45

881. The boys have reportedly earned £10m for their work over the past 7 months.

882. When performing “I Want,” Harry once changed the lyrics to “You could be preoccupied, Different dick every night.”

883. Louis likes to kiss girls on their forhead.

884. Zayn: There are some pictures of me in the mankini. The boys keep threatening to put them up for everyone to see, but I’ve got them stored away very safely.

885. When Niall hugs someone, he always buries his face in their neck. That’s why people love his hugs so much.

886. Liam reckons the best part of New York is its giant Toys R Us store.

887. Interviewer: Anything interesting we should know about you Harry?

                Louis: He has four testicles.

                Harry: Five actually.

888. Interviewer: Every boy band has an end right?

                Zayn: Not One Direction. This direction doesn’t have an end.

889. Niall: I don’t want to date a model, because models are perfect and perfect is boring.

890. Niall once argued with security for 30 minutes at the airport because they wouldn’t let him bring food on the plane.

891. Interviewer: What do you hate that fans do?

                Zayn: Well, it’s not nice when they squeeze your hair.

                Niall: Or squeeze your bum.

                Louis: No, that’s ok.

892. Louis: Harry likes to be naked all the time.

                Host: Really?!

                Louis: Ya, he hit a policeman in the face with his penis.

893. Even if Niall doesn’t know you, he’ll ask for your food if you have some and it looks yummy.

894. Interviewer: If a madman stole all of your fans, how would you get them back?

                Louis: I’d throw sherbet at them.

895. Niall makes a huge effort to make sure he doesn’t lose his Irish accent.

896. While filming iCarly, the other boys were trying to say their lines but Harry kept yelling “NOOOO!” to distract them.

897. Interviewer: We like your outfits!

                Harry: Thanks, we wear them to seduce women.

898. Louis: When I’m at home alone, I run up the stairs naked. It’s quite funny.

899. What Makes You Beautiful will be on Just Dance 4 (AAAAAH!!! I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!!)

900. Niall: I had my first kiss when I was eleven and it was so bad. I think I’ve blocked it outta my mind. I’m not sure it even counts as a kiss.