Save me Alpha

Why me? Why now?

Okay so I might just be paranoid but I swear through out the entire class Seth was looking at me. And what's up with that goofy smile he keeps plastered on his face. I mean yes he looks so much more beautiful with his smile but that's the damn problem. He's too cute for his own good.

Look away! Alex don't look at him I keep scolding myself. I can feel him looking at me and it made me sad and yet it made me happy that someone like him would even look at me.The thought made me blush till dad's words hit me so hard it almost took my breath away. He's right I can't do anything right, I fuck up everything I touch. But why does it hurt me so much I don't even know Seth but I want to.

"Are you OK Alex?" I looked up at the sound of his voice and couldn't help but smile at the worried look on his face. Worried? For what me?

"Wh....what do you mean?" I asked him. Did I do something wrong? Did he see my face?! Covering my cheek I looked at him.

"You just kinda looked upset that's all" he replied.

"Oh....yea I'm fine just thinking"Damn he's good I hadn't realized I'd given anything away. What in the world is this boy doing to me?! I know better than to talk to anyone I know the risks, and they aren't worth it. I can't get close to anyone if daddy found out he would just hurt me. What's the big deal though so what if I get close to someone or make a friend it's not like I'm gonna just come out and say hi I'm Alex and my dad abuses me. I'm not that stupid.

The bell rang and I gathered my things and rushed out of the room. I can't understand these feelings. I don't get close enough to have any feelings for anyone. I could hear someone calling my name and I knew it was Seth.

I couldn't talk to him right now so I went to the girls bathroom. I didn't care that I would miss class. I checked to make sure I was alone and then locked myself in a staw. I cried and cried till no more tears would come out. What the Hell is this place doing to me?

I cried for the loss of my mom, and how my father changed completely after she died. Oh how I wish I could change lives with someone hell anyone for that matter. In my life you couldn't have friends if someone found out then it would be hell to pay for me later.

But I can do this I've faked so much that I know I can do this. Getting off the floor I dried all my tears and reapplied my foundation. After making sure I was presentable I grabbed my books and went to my next class. Great gym. Note the sarcasm. Since today was the first day we didn't have to change thank God.

I felt like someone was watching me so I looked up from the ground and sure enough there was Seth looking at me. Why does he keep staring do I have something on my Damn face? And why does he have every class with me? Weird."OK today is free day since it's the first day" said the teacher. Great I thought, I went to the bleachers and sat down.

It's much easier to keep to yourself when no one notices you. It looks like my dad made a good choice. All the girls were wearing clothes way to tight and short trying to get the guys attentions. And I didn't expect the guys to notice me anyway they were to busy looking at boobs. "Thanks alot dad......" I mumble to myself. Someone sits next to me and she smiles at me. "Hey im Elizabeth or Lizzy. You must be new here" she says. I just stayed quiet and looked at her. "umm hello?" she asks. I will not get punished for this girls mistake. I pick up my bag and walk away. Rude I know but safer for us both.

I walked to the other side of the gym and sank down against the floor pulling my knees to my chest. This is the first time people have tried to talk to me. Everyone eventually gives up. I kinda wish they wouldn't but then again I would be hurt if they didn't. The entire class I just kept to myself and tried to avoid eye contact with anyone. I knew he was looking at me I caught him quite a few million times!

I was ready to leave. I was ecstatic when the bell rang. I got up and practically ran outside into the court yard. Lunch finally. I sat down against a big oak tree, being careful of my bruised back. Finally some peace and quiet. I closed my eyes and rested.

Surprisingly no one tried to bother me during lunch. I was sad when it was over. Off to History. Better than math I guess. I slowly made my way to class and took a seat in the back of the room. I would tell you how it went but honestly I have no idea I don't recall a thing. I must have spaced out. Next thing I know the bell rang signaling the end of class.

Thank god for free period. I can go home. But I'll have to cook as soon as I get home. I took my time walking home. As soon as I entered I went to the kitchen.

It may have taken along time but finally the food was done. I set the table and I heard the door slam. Help me now.

He walked into the kitchen. He looked pissed already. What did I do?

"Bitch why isn't the house clean!?"

"I...I..." I was stammering like an idiot. Shit I forgot to tidy the house. I'm so fucked.

I couldn't reply fast enough before he punched me in the stomach. I doubled over in pain. Falling to the floor. Shit! I didn't even have time to take a breath before he kicked me in my side.I cried out in pain, but that just seemed to make him angrier.

He pulled me up by my hair. I screamed out in pain. Could nobody really hear this? He slapped me hard. I remember dropping to the floor and seeing his foot coming towards me. But then I blacked out.

I woke up on the floor, I should be use to this by now. I feel shooting pains going through my sides. And I couldn't move my left hand. Great breaking my bones again.What did I do to deserve this hell? I try so hard and this is what I get. Maybe I should have died instead of my mother.

I guess I won't be going to school tomorrow. What will I say if people ask me how it happened? I don't.....I honestly don't know what to do antmore.