The One That Got Away

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I quickly scrambled out of the bed and threw some of the clothes from the ground on me. I looked in the mirror to see that I had thrown on a random pair of khaki pants and the black Jack Wills hoodie I gave to Harry how many years ago. Tears came to my eyes as my fingers traced the hemming of the jacket. I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind and lips press a kiss to my neck. I struggled to hold back a moan, that is, until I remembered who it was.

I threw him off of me and turned to face him. Thankfully, he was wearing his white V neck and boxers. I could feel the anger rise in my chest as I stared at his confused expression. He saw the rage in my eyes and bit his lip. Damn it. He looked really sexy doing that.

"Harry. Edward. Styles." I hissed. "What in the name of baby Jesus have you done!? LOOK WHAT WE DID! I WAS DRUNK. YOU COULD'VE STOPPED THIS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT." I yelled at him, my hands balled up into fists as the blood in my body boiled. I stomped over to him and raised my hand to slap him across the face when something stopped me.

Tears welled up in my eyes as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had just lost my virginity.

To Harry Edward Styles.

That's when I fell to the ground in tears. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, bawling my eyes out into my legs. How could I let this happen? How could he let this happen? This probably meant nothing to him. Just some one night stand that he did with every girl he looked at. I meant nothing to him. That night meant nothing to him. I had just lost my virginity and it meant nothing to him.

I'd broken a very valuable promise to myself. I had always promised myself that I wouldn't do it until marriage. Harry had respected that when we were together. I guess when we broke up, his respect for me left as well.

"God, Roxy. I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. I thought you liked it. I-I .. you just looked so beautiful last night and you were so sexy on that dance floor.. I just hadn't seen that side of you and it was intriguing. Over these past two years, you've gotten so much more independent and it's just drawing me in more. I missed you so much. What I did.. what I did with Sam.. was so, so wrong. If I could take it back in a heartbeat, I would. I swear. I still love you. I never stopped loving you. I never will stop loving you. You mean too much to me to let go. The main reason I went to the stupid thing last night was to try and win you back.. but.. this happened. God, I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry, Roxy. I really am. I was drunk.. well, I wasn't that drunk.. I just.. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't ... I-"

"Harry. I just lost my virginity to you." I said between sobs, cutting him off from his useless rant.

Why couldn't I be mad at him? Why couldn't I hit him? Why couldn't I yell at him and make him feel bad for everything he's done? Why can't I be mean to him? Most of all, why can't I hate him?

"Roxy, i-"

"Don't talk... just... hold me..?" I asked, still sobbing.

I didn't feel any movement come from him which made me feel stupid. Of course, he wouldn't touch me after that. I meant nothing to h-

"Anything." He whispered as he crouched down next to me and held me tight to his chest. The embrace made me cry even harder. I wanted this. I wanted him to be mine again. I wanted him. I just didn't want to get hurt again. He moved me onto his lap where he rubbed circles onto my back and kissed my forehead.

"Sing for me?" I choked out.

"What?" he said sounding completely gob smacked. I couldn't see his expression since my head was in the crook of his neck but I could imagine it was surprised.