Tall Insomniacs.- (Connor Murphy X reader)

Chapter 7.

Warning: Small usage of drugs.
Note: F/T means favorite thing.

~Y/N's POV~

We all find comfort in certain places. It could be a destination, a thing, or even a person. I, for example, found comfort in the shining lights of the city, also, F/T, and when I was near Connor Murphy. It takes a bit to find your comfort place, but once you find it, it feels so natural. Like it's always been there. I find comfort in the city because it's so warm, welcoming, and diverse, I find comfort in F/T because (reason.), And I found comfort in Connor because he was the first person to see me... to wave back.

I sat next to Connor on his couch. I swear to god, he was about to put his arm around me, but he hesitated. I looked up and Connor was lost in a trance, staring at the TV.

"Watcha watching?" I asked. He blinks and looks at me.

"Nothing." He grumbles. I looked at the bright TV. It was the little mermaid. He quietly mumbled 'part of your world.' I laughed but then quickly covered my mouth. "What?" He was seething.

"You don't strike me as a Disney fan..." he rolled his eyes and I put my head on his shoulder, he tensed, but then got used to the feeling. At that moment he was beautiful (but isn't he always?), his chiseled features were prominent, his hair rested perfectly in front of one eye, and his marbled iris shined in the light. His looks were addicting, euphoric.

Connor pulled a roll of weed out of his pocket and a lighter. He started to light it but I snatched it out of his hand.

"The fuck? It's a stress reliever!" He yelled.

"Don't. Do. Drugs." He growled at my smartass remark.

"Give me liberty! Or give me meth!" He yelled. "Try it." He simply said. "No." I said back.

"Yes."

"No."

"I will give you a kiss if you try..." my face burned up a bit and I shook my head, no. Let's live a little. I took it from his hand and put it up to my lips. I then started coughing like a maniac, Connor started to hysterically laugh.

"Shut up!" I smacked his shoulder. He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. For that small moment everything was okay, but I sat there in shock. My heart jumped to my throat. "C-connor?" I leaned back a bit.

"A deals a deal. I said I- just- just go." My silence must have set him off, He rubbed his shoulder at the sudden change of my expression. "GO!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered and grabbed my bag. I was out the door faster than you could say 'oh shit that escalated quickly.' But that is a pretty long saying... anyway...

—at that moment Connor had knew he had fucked up—

I didn't mean to hurt him i just- I don't know. I don't know how I feel about Conn- him. Yea I love him but do I love him like that? No- Yea?

Maybe?

Feelings suck.
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I threw my keys and bag on the table and walked into the lounge. Evan was snuggled up to Jared, Kleinman placed a quick kiss on his forehead. I'm guessing they had no idea I was there because they paid no attention to me. My little brother was happy and that's all that matters. I snuck up the stairs, careful not to wake my mom, and opened the door quietly.

It creaked a bit but not too much. A sliver of light shown through as I laid on my soft bed. I took out my phone and started texting Connor. I literally tried everything. Nothing worked. I messed up. I tried;
Name calling:

Don't be a pussy. Y r u pulling on my dick??? Biotch.

Apologizing:

Connor, I'm sorry. Please forgive me!!!! I didn't mean to hurt you. Sorry...

Changing the subject:

What did u eat 4 dinner???

Sympathy:

I'm so done with life. Everyone hates me. :(((

I don't even know what this is:
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do I look like mother Theresa????????

And lastly, this:

Please.

A tear dripped onto the phone but I blinked the rest away. I knew I've made mistakes but none that bad. I loved Connor and if I did anything to hurt him... i... never mind.
My phone finally buzzed and I don't think I've ever grabbed it that quickly. I typed in the passcode as quick as my fingers could move.

Connor Murphy:
I'm sorry. Or whatever da fuck. Anyway, after school tomorrow meet me at the orchard? I'm a jerk. Btw I didn't mean anything by the kiss, it didn't mean anything. But a deals a deal Hansen. Jerk, out.

I chuckled lightly. That entire thing was so Kleinman, you don't even know. But, He's my jerk... that sounded more yandere than meant to be. The thing that got me though was he said it didn't mean anything... i- i-. i shut the phone off and the world went dark. We're a million worlds apart. I don't know how I would even start.

If I could tell him.

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3:00. The red numbers said from across the room. I woke in a cold sweat. It wished it was a dream... a horrible dream. I sang softly what mommy would sing to me when I was younger. 'You are my sunshine... my only sunshine... you make me happy when sky's are grey... you never know Dear, how much I love you... so please don't take my sunshine away...'

Connor was my sunshine, but I wasn't even a match to him...

It's amazing how the heart makes no sound when it breaks.

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Hey guys! This was so chapter was so sadddd. Sorry this was so short... I had writers block. Hope you liked it.

Sincerely,

               Me.