Tall Insomniacs.- (Connor Murphy X reader)

Chapter 4.

~Y/N's POV~

Do you know the feeling when something is so euphorically beautiful, but it's not exactly meant to be? Like when the orange and yellow hues touch the mountains, or when the city is just full of light, even if there is yelling all around and war, it's still beautiful. Or maybe when you look at someone who lost control, who's broken, there not supposed to be beautiful, yet they are? There beautiful because how strong they are and I think that's beautiful. Someone once told me 'life can be beautiful.' And even though I don't feel that way yet, I promise it will happened sooner or later.

I sat sprawled on Connor's bed. I stared at him. His painted nails that were chipped all over, his eyes of brown and blue, his long hair. He looked up and my head snapped down to the book.

"I'm hangry. And very gay. I'm hangry and gay.." Jared whined.

"I'm Connor." Connor said back, i snickered at his remark. "Cynthia Said dinner will be ready in a few." He added.

"We can go down now if you want to take a break." They both looked at me and Connor nodded. We left the room leaving our things just the way they were.

I sat next to Connor and Zoe. Zoe kept talking about how much school sucked, and Connor didn't talk. Jared kept saying stuff like; "Cynthia, you look beautiful today." Or "is that a new perfume Mrs. Murphy?" Because he's just that kind of person. That's that. He is a bath bomb eating rat.

I turned to Connor. He was quiet. I touched his hand and he looked down at me, my hand quickly snapped back to my lap.

"You Okay?" He grumbled. "It's okay. Breathe." I whisper to him. He nodded. Connor's mom sat down next to his dad who was buried in his phone. I ate a piece of broccoli.

"So... Y/N. It's nice to meet you."

"You too Mrs. Murphy." She chuckled.
"Call me Cynthia." She smiled and I returned one. "Connor? Are you going to speak to the guests or...?"

He looked up from his plate and sighed. "Sure, Cynthia!" There was nothing but tension in the room, it filled the air. I wished I could sink down in my seat, but sadly I have bones. (Cue sarcasm)

"Well! Look at the time! Gotta go, bye lovely house!" Jared said and rushed out. I shot him a death glare. Everyone's attention turned back on Connor.

"Don't talk to your mother like that." Larry snapped.

"Fuck you!" Connor pushed the table and ran upstairs to his room. I heard the door slam.

~How hard he would slam the bedroom door each night after dinner...~

"Does this every night..." Mr. Murphy mumbled.

I got up and ran after Connor. His door was fortunately unlocked. He laid on his bed throwing things at the wall.

"Connor! Can you Stop it!" I rushed to his side and took the pencil he was about to throw out his hand.

"Why? It doesn't fucking affect you, now does it?" He snapped at me. I flinched. I thought he would push me again. "See. Even your afraid of me." He said weakly with a frown.

I pushed a tuft of hair out his eyes and held his hand, his eyes intrigued me. I rubbed his thumb lightly. He stared into my shimmering eyes.

"No. I'm not." I whispered.

"Stop fucking lying to me!" Connor yelled in my face. I backed away. "I- I- I wish I just Died! It's not like anyone would give a fuck!" He screamed. I swallowed and then looked at him.

"Don't say that..." I whispered. "Please... I would care." My voice cracked. Why did I care for a boy who I didn't know, and who doesn't know me? Maybe because a part of me wants to know the boy who only had so much hope left. The boy with a little bit of light.

he leaned in and my body was overcome with shock. It was like my heart jumped up to my throat. I stood there petrified. But then he did something... he hugged me. I relaxed then pulled him in tighter. He was warm, gentle. He rested his chin on my head and stayed there. I heard his sobs, and it hurt me. His body shook with tears. We stayed there. I noticed his long arms wrapped around me, they were covered in scars. I touched them lightly.

"This doesn't mean we're friends."

"Shut up." I laughed. A smile tugged at his lips.

~He had a little bit of light.~

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I got home and threw my bag on the couch. I was alone. The house was filthy. Not like the Murphy's whatsoever. Ours was a... how do you say... humble abode.

"I'm home! Hello, family! Henlo?" I asked timidly. "I am neglected." I said dramatically and flopped on the couch. I heard Evan come running down the stairs.

"Y/N!" He yelled. I laughed. "How was it?"

"Good." I lied. It was... eventful. He nodded and sat next to me. "Still Interested in Zoe?" I wiggled my eyebrows.

"Ehh, I d- well you- see I- can't..." He looked at me sadly. "Would you hate me if I told you?" He looked like he was about to cry.

~If I could tell her~

Of course not, Ev. I love you. I always will."

"I'm D-dating some- I'm- someone..." he never stuttered in front of me. Weird. "Well um- Jared..." I stared at him, he was now on the brink of tears. There was silence besides Evan's Whimpering. I finally spoke.

"So your Bi? Evan you know I love you no matter what, right? I give you my permission to make out with- iM MEAN DATE JARED."

He smiled and then started hysterically laughing. I kissed his head and he beamed. We started to gossip, talk, and I've never seen him happier. Look at my little brother. Pride isn't the word I'm looking for.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

~He thought you were... awesome.~

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Hey guys! Hope you liked it it took a lot of work! Well bye!

Ela~