Not Your Fault

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Cameron's Pov
I'm not too sure how long I actually have been staying in the bathroom but I was quite positive I was not gonna be coming out of the bathroom for a while.

I've spent a good amount of time pacing back and forth thinking how could I be so stupid to let the cuts be out in the open now Jungkook is gonna question the shit at me and end up feeling super guilty about leaving me alone for the amount of time that he did.

And its just gonna add more stress on to my shoulders. I looked into the mirror straight into my own reflection sighing.

I was gonna have to go out and face him sooner then later. I know Jungkook is still here cause I've been listening to him talking on the phone in that shaky tone of voice he has.

Slowly using my other arm I rubbed my arm full of cuts wincing at the feeling.

What was I gonna say? What was I gonna tell him that for stress I cut myself.

That when the anxiety and depression get out of hand I cut? He wouldn't understand at all why I do it.

I looked wide eyed when there was a knock on the bathroom door connected to our room and I inhaled sharply "Cameron can you please come out now?" Jungkook pleaded to me.

I could hear the worry on his voice but as well the weariness lace in his voice like he had been crying for awhile.

The sooner came fastest then I expected unlocking the door with shaky finger's.

I heard Jungkook step back and I pushed the door opened and I locked eyes with Jungkook eyes red from crying hair tossled and messy.

I took Jungkook's hand that shook "come on I'll explain the best way I can." I mutterer weakly and Jungkook nodded.

I carefully dragged Jungkook back to the bed and he sat down while I as well sat down I sighed heavy feeling uneasy.

I don't know how to explain this to him but I'll give it my best go "so ummm for a while now I guess since you went on the wings tour  I started cutting myself." I started out.

Jungkook's eyes filled with tears quickly and I watched Jungkook cupped his hand over his mough.

"Why?" he asked hurt laced all over his voice.

I licked the outer layer of my lower lip avoiding eye contact "at first it happened on accident I was cooking one day and the knife slipped and nipped me on the arm, at first I was just shocked."

"Oh look a cut but then I guess the next day I made a bigger one and it released a lot out of me my attacks have kinda stopped when I cut cause I'm already hurting myself." I explained.

Jungkook kept crying softly and it just worried me more "Cameron can I see the damage you have done?" Jungkook whimpered out.

I slowly nodded he already knows there's no reason to hide it anymore.

Leaning over Jungkook to flicked the lamp on the dresser on I then rolled my hoodie sleeve up showing him my arm scattered all across was cuts all length's, some still bleeding.

Jungkook's eyes never left my arm and he dropped his hand from his mouth "I knew there was something wrong." Jungkook whispered flicking his eyes up to me.

Once again I shook my head side to side "you couldn't have possibly known Jungkook you were on tour and it was my own decision to do this to my body don't feel guilty or anything." I rushed out worry laced in my voice.

Jungkook looked at me hurt "baby." Jungkook mutterer gently taking my hand.

"This isn't healthy you cutting yourself is putting yourself in danger." Jungkook whispered moving closer to me with his other free hand he cupped my cheek rubbing his thumb across my cheek.

"What if one day you keep cutting yourself and cut to deep you could cut into a vain and die." Jungkook whimpered.

I blinked and slowly nodded he wasn't wrong its true I could "let me disinfectant the ones still open." Jungkook took my hand in his again and took me into the bathroom not wanting to fight or argue back.

I let him clean the open cuts and watched him focus on wrapping them up with gaze deeply chewing on my lower lip Jungkook finally had calm down and his tears had dried up on his bare face.

But that doesn't mean the signs that he was crying is still there all over his face still sitting on the toilet I took Jungkook into my arms and Jungkook sat on my lap shaking deeply.

I just pulled him closer to me "I thought I was gonna lose you Cameron I'm so sorry that I haven't been here to help you Jaigya." Jungkook whimpered weakly into my shoulder.

I squeezed my eyes shut squeezing Jungkook back harder "its not your fault Jungkook its mine." I whispered back.

"I'll stop for you okay, I promise I'll stop." I muttered Jungkook lifted his head up his nose stuffy from crying.

"You promise." Jungkook whimpered gazing at me locking eyes once again I then weakly nodded.

"I promise." I whispered Jungkook threw back into a huge hug and I rubbed his back up and down trying to help relax him.

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