Teach Me How To Love

Part 50 ~ No Tears Left To Cry

Before you start reading I wanna apologize for the long wait. I know these author's notes before every chapter are annoying but in honor of queen Ariana's new lead single, I just had to name this chapter ''No Tears Left To Cry'' please enjoy, babes! 

Feedback is greatly appreciated! xxx 

~ Michael's point of view ~

I take one last look at Destiny, sitting in my car and decide to turn right back around and walk away. Did she really just say all these things? Does she realize that she's basically forcing me to go down on my knee and propose to her? What is she hoping to achieve will all this pressure she's putting on me right now?

Isn't a proposal supposed to be some kind of a suprise? isn't it supposed to be like a fun and loving experience for both? . . all I'm feeling right now is pressure put upon me that I can do without. I love Destiny but come on . . really? . . I feel bad for walking away like this but there's this little voice inside of me saying I should take a breather. I need it. I need it more than anything right now. 

I'm not the type of person to whine and play the victim when times get rough but I think I've been dealing with enough negativity lately, I do not need any more. How much more baggage am I supposed to carry?

Well, since I left my car with Destiny, I decide to take the longer way home. The way through the forest, alongside a beautiful lake. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with the world I like to take a walk here. It's breathtakingly beautiful and relaxing . . just nature and me. Mother nature doesn't ask anything of you, she just gives and gives . . helps you re-gain energy that you've lost along the way. I take in a deep breath and decide to take a seat in the grass to take in the peacefulness around here. 

About 20 minutes later I get going and head home. The conversation with Destiny is still lingering in my ears. It's right in the back of my head, re-playing over and over again. Her disappointed expression, her angry and frustrated words she has thrown at me.

Am I in the wrong?

Was I wrong for the way I acted? should I not have left her there? 

I don't know. 

I just want Destiny to slow it down. She needs to slow it down big time. How can she expect of me to propose to her right now? . . and why the heck is she so afraid of me leaving her? . . why on earth would I leave her? . . there was never a single thought in my mind about that. 

I unlock the door to my house and walk inside. Silence overcomes me. A Sad silence. Right now I actually wished Casey was here. I take off my coat and shoes and lay down on the couch. I inhale and exhale deeply. I've been crying . . and now I'm starting to again. 

Is there a limit to tears in a human being?

Because it feels to me that there are no tears left to cry for me. 

I look at the 10 thousand bucks on my coffee table. I let out a moan while getting up from the couch and collect it all. I put it all in a box and put it in a drawer underneath my TV. I take a shower and make myself a little something to eat. I was looking forward to spending the night with Destiny but . . . oh well . . . plans have changed themselves.

Just as I'm about to take my first bite of my dinner, my phone starts ringing. It's Mom. I put the fork down and pick up: 

"Hey mom"