The next day, I was watching tv in my room later in the afternoon with Cameron.
My phone started to vibrate in the table, next to cameron.
"It's jack.." he said handing my phone.
Oh shoot.
"Hello...?" I asked putting the phone up to my ear.
"Hey..." He answered and I put it on speaker phone so cam could hear.
"Look outside your window" he said clearing his throat.
Cameron and I stood up and I had a lump in my throat.
I opened my curtains, and pulled up my blinds.
"Cameron hide.." I mumbled looking out slightly.
He had written in the middle of the street with pink chalk,
"Take Me Back? <3"
Jack was sitting on my lawn with pink all over his hands.
He had sunglasses and a button up shirt on, with dark shorts.
"Oh my god..." I groaned shutting the curtain and throwing myself on my bed.
"What do I do?" I asked Cameron as I sat up.
"I don't know but think quick...." he said peeking through the curtain.
I got up and opens the curtains and window.
"Please?" Jack said standing up.
"I don't know ja-"
"Please ashlynn." Jack pushed his blonde hair back with his fingers.
I don't want to say this but..
"I-I have, a uh boyfriend..." I looked down at the base if my window.
"You do?"
"Yeah, you seemed to have moved on, so why can't I?" I snapped.
"That was a mistake...."
"How much you wanna .bet, after your done here, your going to go straight to her house and do chalk in the street?" I folded my arms.
He just looked down at the grass, and kicked a mushroom growing.
"That's what I thought...." I rolled my eyes waiting for an answer.
"Ashlynn I-" he began.
"Thank you very much for the offer, but I think I'm fine. goodnight Jack......" I shut my window and my curtains and plopped on my bed.
Cameron was sitting on the other side of the bed, with his back facing me.
"I feel so mean...." I mumbled into the bed.
I feel really bad actually... what he did was really sweet just barley.
But I just need to remember he cheated on me.
Cameron didn't say anything.
"What's wrong cam?" I sat up leaning against his back.
"...Nothing..." He said and I sat up.
"C'mon, I can tell something's up." I lightly pulled his shoulder so he would face me.
"Nothing! god, nothing! there is nothing wrong!" He stood up and put his hand in the air.
He grabbed a pillow off of my bed and stormed down he stairs.
I sat there dumbfounded. what just happend? I heard him open a door, then shut it. it sounded like the pantry door.
I just shut my door, and plugged in my strand of lights above my bed.
Why was Cameron so mad..? did I say somthing? I don't think I did....
I guess Nash and I aren't talking that much now?
He doesn't text me.. and I don't text him.. I honestly don't know what he is doing, like I usually so, because he was my best friend.
Do you ever just want to crawl up into a ball and cry about everything in your life? Because you feel like your not worth anything? and you just question why god puts you through all of these hardships, and why you can't be like other people? And that you wonder when your life is going to start? and question if your worth it? worth the time for other people to be around you? worth the time for people to be friends with a mess like me?
That's just what I did, and I pulled a big fluffy blanket around me.
I cried about my mom, which, I don't do very often,
I cried about jack, and how when I first met him, he was so brave and open to me. and how now, he probably hates me because I turned him down so harsh.
I cried about Cameron, and how he stormed off, and the thought of him being angry at me is unbearable.
But mostly, I cried about nash. I cried that I wish everything was back the way it was. When my mom was still around, when Nash and I were going over to each others houses every single day. when I went on every family trip the Grier family went on. And the free family came in every single trip we went on. I cried about when Nash and I were dating, how sweet he was. He was my best friend. and now, we haven't spoke in over 2 weeks. why can't everything go back to the way it was? why can't I just start over on life?
I cried myself to sleep.
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I woke up abruptly. I shook awake, because something fell in my room.
My lights were still plugged in and I reached across the bed for Cameron. it was empty.
The dark was scaring me, even though I had my strand of lights on, it was still pretty dim in my room.
I got up with my blanket, opens my door, then ran across the hall to Shawn's door.
I very slowly and carefully turned the handle, and pushed it open.
Shawn was sleeping, and snoring loudly, I don't know how I couldn't hear it from my room.
I crawled in next to him, and cuddle up close to his back.
I fell asleep to the sound if his snores.
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I woke up about the same time shawn did.
"When did you get in with me?" he asked Turing over onto his side.
"Last night..." I answered.
"Were you crying?" he asked touching underneath me eye.
When I cry I get red underneath my eyes, on my chin, and the top of my forehead.
I explained everything to him, I just practically spewed out everything spinning around in my mind. it felt pretty good to get out actually.
"How'd you know I was crying?" I asked turning my head a little.
"I get red in the same spots when I cry." he said and I smiled.
"Love you brown eyes." he said and I smiled.
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Hey guys
I'm starting to try to do a fact about me, about every chapter, so here's one.
My parents are divorced. I used to live in a bigger city, and I had really good friends. and before that, I used to live in a smaller town, that was where I was born. I didn't have that many friends there, and I kinda just sat on the bench the whole time. then my dad got a job offering so we moved to the bigger city. Then my parents split, and my mom took me and my sisters back to the smaller town. my dad, stayed up in the big city, and now lived four hours away from me. My mo said it would be better for me. it's crazy to think that a family who used to be together all if the time and do everything together, is now broken up into bits and pieces. the first couple months, I kinda felt like I was drowning. I actually still do a little. But I am working through it and I am starting to like the smaller town. but if I had a choice, I would live in the bigger city.
That's a looong fact sorry :/
Ok night guys
-☀️ashlynn☀️
