Until My Last Breath

Chapter 15

Roses's POV:
After finally finishing the scene, we go back to the hotel to pack our suitcases. "The good thing is you overcame your fear of heights." Shawn says, holding the door open for me.

The door shuts behind us preventing the paparazzi and some fans from taking pictures of us. I let my slip my hand from Shawn's. "Making me feel like falling down the cliff doesn't count as overcoming my fear." I say, huffing.

"It's a first step." He winks, causing me to roll my eyes. Suddenly I hear Andrew calling Shawn over to him. He looks pretty... angry? "Ouhh what did you do now?" I ask, amused but Shawn doesn't seem to find it funny.

"That's not your business." He says blankly, before heading over to Andrew. Okey? See that's what makes me hate him. His mood swings are worse than a girls on her period. Maybe that's just the behavior of a jerk.

They walk around the corner, disappearing out of my sight.  Maybe they are going to Shawn's room. What are they talking about? I shouldn't listen... like he said it's non of my business but I'm too curious.

"I'm going to my room guys,I'm exhausted. Goodnight." I say, waving the others goodbye. "Goodnight, Rose." they say all at once, making me chuckle. Quickly, I walk around the corner, then down the corridor. As I hear their voices, I sneak towards the door, stopping in front of it.

"Listen, you have to make it stop. Understand me?" Andrew says. "It's not that easy Andrew." Shawn replies. "Find a way. It's not just dangerous for you Shawn." Andrew says, followed by steps. Oh no.

I quickly run into my room, shutting the door behind me. What was that about? They seemed so serious... He was probably mean to an interviewer again. I shrugged, sliding my still damp clothes off. I take a quick shower and dry my hair, finally not freezing anymore.

My phone rings, the light up screen showing sho it is. Carter. Shit, I completely forgot. I can't ignore him even longer. He's worried. I grab my phone and accept the call, pressing it nervously to my ear.

"Hey." I say, sitting down on the bed. "Oh decided to stop ignoring me?" He asks. I could hear that he's pissed.

"I didn't... I wasn't in the hotel the whole day and I hadn't got my phone with me." I explain, biting my lip. "Of course." He chuckles drily. "I'm not lying Carter." I sigh, letting my back collide with the soft mattress.

"Fine but Rose don't you get how worried I am? You mean so much to me. Please talk to me." He says. "Carter you already know what happened and you also know the reasons, so please. I don't want to talk about it." I reply.

"I know that your life isn't easy at all but I'm trying to help. I told you so many times that you have me Rose. You'll always have. So please, if you ever have thoughts like that again. Call me, text me. Just n-never do that again." I could hear how his voice cracks.

Is he crying? I don't mean to hurt him... "I'm sorry." I mumble, playing with the ends of my shirt. "There's nothing to be sorry for but can you promise me?" I can't... "Yes." I say. "You know I love you right?" "I know... I love you too." I say, smiling a bit.

I never realized that without him I probably wouldn't even be here today. After the car crash he didn't let me give up. He came to my house every day. He cheered me up or just let me cry into his shoulder.

I can't t thank him enough for that but I also can'promise him anything. "What are you doing now? Already leaving for Manchester?" "You know the tour dates?" I chuckle. "Of course." He laughs. "We are not leaving today but tomorrow morning, stalker. That's why I'm going to sleep now." "Okey. We'll hear us. Goodnight." "Goodnight Carter." I say, followed by a yawn.

I hang up, feeling how exhausted I actually am. After turning the lights of I fall asleep. Breathing heavily I grab the sheets, tossing and turning around before my eyes open. I sit up, wiping the flowing tears from my face but new ones replace them eventually. Again one of those dreams.

I whimper, leaning my head against the headboard of the bed. I'm so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open but i hear the voices. The ones I always hear, when I panic. They  just won't stop shouting.

I reach over to turn the lights on, observing the little box. I can't help it. Sometimes I can't sleep or calm down till I do it. I keep hearing the screams of my mom, making my head pound.

"It's fine Rose. Just don't listen." I whisper, holding my pounding head. Why does this always happen? "Please stop." I sob, pressing the palms of my hands to my ears. It gets louder and louder, giving me the feeling that my head explodes any moment.

What is wrong with me? I grab the box, immediately running into the bathroom. Sliding with my back down the wall I press the cool metal into my skin, the screams and voices getting less audible. A sigh of relief leaves my lips as I do it a second time.

I keep going until everything is silent again, watching the red liquid drop to the floor. I know that this isn't right but it's the only way to stop them. The slight pain is better than not getting any sleep at all.

A few moments later I stand up to clean the bathroom tiles and my arm. I wrap a bandage around it, so no one can see it.
As I look up into the mirror I almost scream seeing a figure behind me but like always it's just my imagination. I guess I'm paranoid...

Sighing I splash cold water into my pale face.
I don't know why I keep seeing 'him'. I don't know if it's a man but I  call it like that. Maybe it's just a shadow and I overreact? I mean it can't be anything else.

I stroll back into the room, keeping my gaze out of the window.
The lights of the houses and street lamps illuminating the dark night. I lay down, exhaling deeply. It's 4 am. I don't think that I can sleep again.

I grab my hoodie, slipping it on along with my shoes before heading up to the roof where Josiah took those photos of us. As I walk towards the bench the lights turn on, revealing someone sitting on it.