my apologies for my hiatus. I missed you all so much. welcome back❤️
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Xora.
My body sat like a right triangle as I twiddled my fingers together, listening for the sound of Anthony's feet nearing the bedroom. I looked at the analog clock that sat on his wall and squinted my eyes to see precisely how many minutes had passed since the last time I looked. The only sound that could be heard over the silence that surrounded me was the shower water raining down onto the floor of the bathtub. It was well after midnight and I was tired, but Anthony knew I couldn't sleep without him. And the fact that he knew that and hadn't come to bed saddened me, for lack of better words. I couldn't have pissed him off that bad. He had only been in the shower ten minutes, but that on top of the hour he sat in the living room had me questioning what I said that was wrong. He couldn't blame me for playing things smart in this new relationship because I didn't in my last.
Breathing in and out deeply, I rubbed my belly as the door creaked opened. He stood with a towel wrapped around his waist while his eyes locked with mine.
Our brewing baby had my hormones and emotions everywhere, so one look at him forced tears to spill from my eyes.
He walked over to me and pecked my lips. "I didn't want to fight." I cried and watched him smirk only making me cry harder.
I hated that I was crying, but we were doing so well. I didn't want it to end so quickly. And that was my fear. I didn't have another failed relationship in me. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. This had to work. But there's never a guarantee that it would.
"Relax baby. Don't cry and make me feel like the bad guy." He begged and I nodded, snuggling into him. It was my favorite place to be since finding out that I was having his child. "I'm just real traditional. I want to take care of you. Whether you work or not." He chuckled like that was a piece I was missing. "You could work all week and I'd still make sure to fill your tank up on Sunday. You don't have to work if you don't want to because I believe in being the man of the house and a provider. That's the man I am. I get it, you been through some shit with a corny nigga, but don't make me pay for that if the plan is to make this work."
It was that moment that I realized just how damaged I actually was. I had been trapped in toxicity and treated badly for so long I didn't even know how to accept when someone wanted to treat me well. Treat me normally.
It wasn't going to work.
My body shook violently as I covered my face with my hands. I wanted to scream, but my ugly cry wouldn't permit it.
"Wait. I'm sorry." Antony began with wide eyes and I couldn't even find the words to tell him that he wasn't the source of my tears. I only shook my head from left to right.
Allowing me a second to get myself together, Ant slipped a pair of boxers over his legs and squatted beside me. "Xo."
