Darkest Nights (editing)

Chapter 8

     It had been a week since I talked to Jordan. I always felt the desire to call or text him or just show up at his doorstep and demand he talk to me. But I decided not to push the issue, it wouldn't fix anything.  

     I knew I needed to tell him but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't sure if I even remembered everything from those dreadful years of my life. After the nightmares begun when we first moved to Michigan my mom took me to see a therapist. Not that she really cared, she wanted the late night screams to stop disturbing her damn dreams. Or so she had said when she dragged me into the doctor’s office.

    The therapist had decided to put me on pills. Pills that were supposed to make me forget. Sure the nightmares had stopped for a while, but the pills made me feel dry. Like I had died and was just taking up space on this earth from someone who really deserved it.

     I was like nine I shouldn't have felt like a blob of nothing. I shouldn't have felt like worthless trash. Some days I felt like I deserved everything Larry did to me. What hurt the most was that my mom was always around when everything happened.

     Every time Larry took me to the basement and chained me up, demanded I did things to him I didn't even understand at the age. If I refused, he would leave me chained up in that dark lonely basement until I finally swallowed my pride and did whatever he said.

     I whimpered at the memories as I curled up on my bed, at that moment missing Jordan more than ever. I felt the wetness of my face and I knew a headache was coming soon after.

     I heard Larry's cruel laugh boom downstairs and it felt like my stomach started doing backflips. I felt like I wanted to throw up. I wanted to go crawl into the shower and scrub every trace of Larry off me that was ever there.

     My mom's giggle came quickly after Larry's. She giggled like a school girl and I knew Larry hadn't said anything that damn funny. The past week they had been doing this. Leaving early and entering the house late at night. Loudly and disturbing whatever peace I had found while they were gone. 

     I couldn't take it anymore, I slide off my bed and walked over to the full length mirror on my closet door. I had on baggy clothes and my brown hair was matted down and greasy. I didn't have on any makeup but that didn't really affect my complexion.  

     The big band logo t-shirt I had on clung to my body, but not enough to show any possible curve I had. The shirt was Jordan's, one of the very many items he left at my house. The grey jogging pants I had on really made it appear that I had no ass at all they were so big. Just the way I liked them, especially with creepy ass Larry around, seeing as though fucking my mom had never been enough for him. 

     I wanted nothing more than to talk to my best friend right now, so that’s what I decided to do. I brushed my hair into a messy bun and grabbed my phone. After checking over myself in the mirror a view times I chose not to change, knowing Jordan he didn't care about my clothes anyway.

     I grabbed my cream shoulder bag and ran downstairs, past an old couple making out. I groaned at the sight but I wasn't worried about them and their sickening "love". I was only focused on talking to Jordan.

     When I reached outside, I sprinted to my car. Just happy to be out the house. I knew I should have probably called Jordan first, but I wasn't sure if he even wanted to see me.

     I arrived at Jordan's house minutes later. His car was in the driveway so I knew he was home. I climbed out of my car and walked slowly up the rocky pathway to his front door. Knocking gently and stepping back.

    I heard someone walking down the stairs inside his house and I instantly thought the worst. What if he opened the door, seen me then slammed it in my face? Or, what if he sent his mom outside to beat me up and order I get off her property this instant. Okay, maybe I was going overboard there I thought silently as the door opened quietly.