The Fighter's Club #Wattys2015Winner

Chapter 16 ◇◇ Talk to Me

Chapter 16- Talk to Me

"Even if you forget that's not the same as if it never happened. The slate is not entirely wiped clean; you can't reclaim the person you were beforehand; your state of innocence is not there to be retrieved." - A.S.A. Harrison

Dev's POV

I sat on the cold bathroom floor, knees up to my chest rocking back and forth shaking. No matter what I couldn't stop shaking.

Fresh out of the shower but I still see the sight of the splattered red blotched over my skin and feeling the urge of sickness to my stomach but I knew this wasn't the effects of sickness.

The vivid events of the nights racing through my mind mixing up my thoughts and breaking the barriers of my sanity.

The bright red color of the blood.. so much blood, the feeling of the bullet after bullet leaving the chamber and entering once a fully breathing and alive man, his dark eyes rolling to the back of his head, the sound of him struggling to get air in his lungs... his last breath.

It's too much, I shouldn't have been there... we shouldn't have been there.

"You aight, baby girl?" I heard a deep voice call out to and I know it's either Shad or Dom but I'm so out of it I couldn't tell which one.

"Go count how much we got. I gotta 'er." The voice dismissed and shortly after I heard footsteps traveling away from the door and soft but slow footsteps coming towards me.

"Devie" I knew that was Rashad as his arms came around my slump shoulders pulling me into his warm chest but even so I was still unresponsive.

"I'm sorry, you had to do that." He apologized but he shouldn't be the one apologizing. I should be, I was the wrong one.

"We should've just left, things were hotter than we expected but the bro went right ahead so we had to follow." His tone was calm and straight to the point as always but I couldn't allow myself to find reason in what he was saying.

"We didn't have to do that, we have enough. Why isn't all we have enough?" and the tears started to flow as I was finally able to silence my thoughts enough to open my eyes and look up into his, searching for the things that would give me my sanity back.

I felt his thumbs begin to wipe the tears away and I knew he was only allowing me to cry because of what just happened otherwise, I'd get a lecture about how tears had no place in the life we live.

Rule number one I was taught from day one of meeting him.

"You could never have enough, there's always a need for more. We living good now but what's gone happen when money run out and all we got is each other? What? You tryna go back to where we found you." There was no missing the intensity of his voice, there was only a few more levels left before his anger came rushing out and I didn't have the energy or mind to comfort him.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. It's just... he was just" I couldn't allow the words to spill my quivering lips

"Alive but he's not anymore. I just need to you to remember it was him or Dom. You made the right choice." There was the emotionless person always I sometimes hated when it came to business

"I didn't mean to, Shad. It just happened and I'm sorry.. so sorry." He could've been someone's husband, brother, uncle, father... and lord knows I wish I had one of those maybe even just my mother back.