Half Bad // Harry Styles

Chapter 18

♡ chapter 18 - Harry ♡

            Something flickered behind Rose’s eyes, giving me the impression she wasn’t being truthful. But there was more to it than that, the harder I looked at her nervous complexion. Not only was she avoiding eye contact, but she was gradually scooting away from me. The Rose I know would bite my head off in a heartbeat, not flinch away with the slightest movement I made. Not only was it strange, but it was alarming.

            Before I could question her eerie behavior, Liam called from the kitchen that dinner was ready. I tried to mask the hurt on my face from her rejection, but it pained me a lot more than it should have. Not only did she flat out deny any feelings she might’ve had towards me, but she won’t even touch me. Not even without her bracelet. She hasn’t hugged me to show she missed me, or even a sign that she was scared and now I was here to comfort her. She’s kept her distance, and that hurt like a bitch.

            This was precisely the reason I tried so desperately to push Rose away by being a jerk to her. It might’ve seemed idiotic, but it kept me from thinking about my inevitable feelings for her. Feeling makes you weak, and when you’re weak, you’re vulnerable. Living in my shoes you have to stay alert, and I clearly couldn’t do that when Rose was kissing me. I lost her because of that. Because I got so caught in loving her that I completely dismissed the fact that I had to protect her. But it was difficult to hold her for the first time, to contain each emotion when her lips locked with mine. I wasn’t thinking about the dangers that clearly follow my every move; I only thought of us.

            God, when did I get so damn cliché?

            It’s a load of shit.

            Using my power to put a little fire in my hand, I slapped the opposite wrist with it. The scorching fire pierced my skin, but it also drug me from my irritable haze Rose had captured me in. Hurting myself probably sounds stupid and maybe I did just leave a mark, but it’ll fade whereas my love for Rose will not. I need a way to block it out until I configure everything occurring at the moment. Marcus could be listening in, watching, or even stalking in the backyard and waiting for the precise moment to ambush us. I need to stay cautious instead of engrossing myself in thoughts of Rose.

            Still, I studied her movements. Maybe it sounded creepy, but she usually walks with her hands in front of her, not behind. My eyebrows pinched together, watching the way she flicked her hair out of her face, when usually she used her fingers to tuck it behind her ear. God, it sounds so stalker-ish of me, but even these small gestures are giving me doubts that she came back as my Rose. If Marcus fried her brain, I swear to all that is holy I’ll—

            “Hungry?” Zayn asked as we entered the kitchen as he helped Liam carve what seemed to be a turkey.

            “Hmm… Looks like a few boys were out playing with their knives again, eh?” Max joked as he walked into the room.

            Liam rolled his eyes with a smile on his face. “Damn straight. Zayn, Ryan, and I thought it was getting too ordinary having the same menu every day. So, we find this little baby out near the river.”

            Again, I watched Rose’s expression but it didn’t budge. Considering my Rose is an animal lover, I assumed she might’ve at least scolded them for killing an animal before she ate it, but she said nothing as she was one of the first to reach for a plate. Licking my lips before pressing them together, I gradually followed suit and tried to depict a logical explanation for her off behavior.