Lovespoken (Theo James)

Chapter 29

They don't need me on set the rest of the week. Instead I stay home and busy myself in work that doesn't need to be done. All I can think about is Theo. All I can picture is how he looked at Shai. As much as I want to hate it, I can't help but be mesmerized at how they look at one another. Hell, I should hate it. And I do. But at the same time I don't.

I'm jealous, not to mention heartbroken for sure. I wonder if he looks at me like that still. I wonder if that's how he looked at me the night he saved my life.

As much as I don't want to, even if I tried, I could not picture him with another woman. Theo's my Theo. His arms don't belong around another body. His lips won't fit right on somebody else's. No one will be as perfect as he is - was - with me. God I have to stop doing that. He's not mine anymore. Why can't I get that through my head?

Friday I get an unexpected call from Theo. When his name flashes on my screen I stop breathing. The last time he called me was the day I got my role. That's the last time I saw his name pop up on my screen.

Until now.

I hesitate before I answer. For a second I debate letting it ring. If I do that I know good and well I'll regret it beyond belief later.

"Hello?" I ask breathless.

Someone coughs on the other end. "Uhh, hey."

I fiddle with my fingers as silence comes through the line.

"Uhm, what are you doing tonight?" He asks.

My heart pounds. Of course I'm not doing anything but I can't let him know I have no life outside of work. "I'm not sure, why?"

"Do you want to get together and run some lines?" He asks

I smile. "Sure," I try not to sound too eager.

"Ok I'll let Shai know."

I furrow my brow, "Shai?"

"Yeah, she didn't have your number so she asked me to call you."

My smile vanishes. "Oh alright." I hope Theo doesn't pick up on my sudden change of mood.

"We'll see you tonight. Be at my place by six."

"Sounds good," I say, trying to make my voice as chipper as possible.

Theo hangs up without saying goodbye. It stings. He always used to say goodbye. I guess I don't even deserve a closing to our conversation now.

I wallow for the rest of the day until it comes time for me to leave. Theo only lives about fifteen minutes from me. That is, only if you know to take the back roads to get to his house. The ride seems to take hours.

I don't know what I will do once I'm in his house. I might lose it. It's the place where I confessed I was in love with Theo only to break up with him seconds after. It's the place where I lived for a good three-four months of my life. For a while I actually called it home. Now how will it feel when I know it's not?

The driveway is longer than I remember it being. The house beckons me from the distance the whole drive up. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. It was stupid for my to agree to this. In this moment I severely debate turning around and acting like I forgot. But then again, do I want to leave Shai and Theo alone in his house?

Taking a deep breath, I find the will to force my feet to the front door. With even more willpower, I find the strength to lift my finger and press on the doorbell. Seconds fly by before the door swings open to reveal the ever so lovely Shailene Woodley. I want to growl. Who does she think she is, opening the door like she owns the place?

"Hey girl! Theo's in the kitchen."

When I step inside I feel her hands on my back guiding me to the kitchen. I want to tell her I already know where it is, but I figure that would be rude so instead I keep my lips sealed.

Theo sits at the glass table. He wears a plain white crew neck, his tan skin peaking out from top. Scruff covers his face. And just like the first time we ate dinner together, he doesn't wear shoes. Just grey knit socks that look extremely comfortable. Almost as comfortable as Shai does sitting next to Theo.

He looks up from the script to Shai and smiles at her. He completely ignores the fact that I am standing practically in front of him. I want to scream in his face.

"Sit down. Don't be shy," Shai instructs.

The chair gets caught on the rug when I pull it out so it starts to fall over. Luckily I catch it, saving myself the embarrassment of ruining something in Theo's perfect little lifestyle.

For the next two hours we go over our lines. Theo doesn't glance at me once. Do you have any idea what it's like to be so close yet so far and unable to do a damn thing about it? He is tormenting me. How can he act like I don't exist? How can he pretend I'm not here?

Finally we decide we need a break. Shai has perfected her lines. Mine are a little rusty. Theo however is God. I don't know how he does it but his skills are remarkable. No wonder he was able to fool me for so long.

"So Haley, how are you liking LA so far?" Shai asks, not noticing - or at least pretending not to - the awkwardness between me and Theo.

"Well this place can sure drain the life out of you," I say, staring at my feet through the table.

"Trust me, I've been there."

"Seems like I'm stuck," I whisper almost inaudibly. Though out of my preferable vision I see Theo twitch. He had heard my comment.

"I think we need something to drink. Who's up for some wine."

"I'll take some," says Theo as Shai strides through the kitchen and rummages through the cabinets. I know from experience that Theo always puts random things throughout the place so if you're looking for something specific, you have to dig.

"Haley?"

"No thank you." Ever since the accident I've been staying away from any fluid that contains alcohol.

"Oh come on. Just one glass," she persuades.

I shake my head. "I've recently given up drinking."

Theo's head shoots up. For the first time tonight he acknowledges my presence. His eyes bore into mine and I feel a pain in my chest.

"Good for you. What's the reason?"

Theo cocks his head to side. "Yes Haley, what is the reason?"

Theo's look penetrates mine. In fact, his gaze is so intense I have to move my eyes. Without thinking, I stand up from the table slinging my purse over my shoulder.

"I should go."

Theo stands up and pushes his chair in. "I'll walk you out."

The walk to the door is awkwardly silent. Theo stands a few feet behind me but I know he's there because I can hear his footsteps. I open the door to walk out, ready to make a fun for it. But when I step out onto the porch he does too.

"Haley, can we talk?"

"Wow, you can see me? I thought I was invisible."

He sighs, running a hand over his face. "I'm sorry."

I scoff. "For what exactly? Pretending I don't exist or leaving my house in the middle of the night? Next time you decide to save a girls life, make sure you don't regret it like you do with me."

With that I storm off.

What the fuck did I just do?

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