Lovespoken (Theo James)

Chapter 20

The whole ride home my thoughts consume me. The flashing lights and colors all blur together as I try to piece together the little bit of sanity I have left. My head throbs. My heart beat pounding to an uneven rhythm. If this is what a heart attack feels like, I am without a doubt having one.

Am I so crazy as to have forgotten Theo telling me he is an actor? Or forgotten him telling me he is famous? Or forgotten him telling me he is going to be in a movie that is going to be showcased around the world? Am I so crazy as to have forgotten him mentioning all of that to me?

Of course not. I'm not that type of crazy. Instead I'm the type of crazy that allows my mind to be twisted and blended into believing stories that aren't true. I'm the type of crazy who falls in love with a man based off of lies.

If only I knew that they were lies. That every word spilled, tumbled between two completely different lives; one where he is famous and one where he is in a bubble. Which words are true are beyond my capability of knowing.

For all I know, I could be a lie. I could be this girl positioned in his fake second world. The one where he is a normal man with a normal life and a normal girlfriend. The one where his face doesn't appear on a screen in a movie that will almost undoubtably be the next 'Twilight', as Robert would call it.

I can't believe Theo; if that even is his real name! I don't know anything about him anymore!

How could he have lied to me? How could he have gone on for so long without spilling even an ounce of the truth? How could I have gone on for so long without picking up on any of the signs? They were all there? They were obvious yet not so obvious at the same time.

The first was when I met him. The very first time our eyes met at the gas station. He is overly confident. Overly wealthy. Obviously not just a simple businessman.

The second was when we held our first conversation on the side of the road when he said he was coming from Chicago. That's where Divergent was filmed. The filming ended a day before our unplanned occurrence. The day before our lives would unexpectedly cross paths.

Of course that's not all. There were so many other signs I could kick myself for missing them or interpreting them the wrong way. That day we kissed, when I asked him who his favorite actress was and he said Shailene Woodley. He got offended when I said something belittling her acting skills, then proceeded by saying she will have a roll in a movie that will prove how talented she is. AKA Divergent. He was reading the book. She helped pick out my dress for our first date. Originally I thought he didn't want me to meet her because he was ashamed of me, but really he didn't want me to meet her because it would blow his cover. It would ruin whatever we had.

Not to mention that day he drove me to work. He knew exactly where to go and how to get there without a question, without a GPS. He knew because he had been there before.

All these instances had been dead giveaways. Maybe if I wasn't so fascinated with the man I thought I loved then I would have noticed them. Instead I didn't. I buried myself under constant excuses. Allowing myself to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

I do not go home. Instead I go straight to my apartment. Bob is waiting for me there with the keys. I sign some papers and finally the place is mine. All mine. No Theo. No lying lowlife bastard. It is exactly what I need. At least the place is already furnished so I do not need to worry about sleeping on a floor. But the bed doesn't have sheets and the couch doesn't have pillows. I'll have to worry about those things tomorrow. Tonight I just need to be alone with my thoughts.

As soon as I wave goodbye to Bob and thank him for helping me I slam the door. Unable to hold it in any longer I collapse, falling to the ground in a heap of dead weight. My chest crushes and I feel like I can't breathe. My breath staggers as I try to get air into my lungs but the effort is too vigorous. The air suddenly feels too blistering.

The first round of tears explode in a mass of hysteria. Shaking my body and rippling through my being. I am sure that my neighbors are aware of my discomfort but I can not shrink back the feeling of emptiness in my chest. I can not hold back the feeling of betrayal that overcomes me.

My heart hurts.

The man who I have fallen in love with, has proved through so many heartless lies that he is not in love with me.

Comment and vote!! Sorry it was short.

QOTC
What is your biggest fear?