Bittersweet

25

Esme's POV

Two weeks. Two whole weeks since I've laid eyes on Harry, let alone spoken to him. At least I was reassured he was still alive by the sounds of him coming and going at night. My heart ached for his attention, missing the way he'd wake up the same early hours that I did to get ready to work just so that he can watch intently as I applied my make up. He wouldn't even speak, he'd just crawl in to my unmade bed with only his underwear on, just to watch me get ready for the day. He would smile though, not that silly smirk he played with everyone, but a genuine smile. Before I would leave I'd ask if I looked decent and he'd always respond with, "Darling, you look like all the worlds' beauty put into one stunning piece of art."

I'd be lying if I said I haven't cried; That I haven't waited home longer than I mean to I'm hopes he'd come strolling in to my bedroom half naked just to stare at me. But I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't relieved for the space we were giving each other, we needed this.

It was Saturday, finally, and the apartment was quiet. For the last two Saturday's Harry had been gone all day and I was left alone to mope around, occasionally calling one of my friends who were all too busy with real life to deal with sad thing called Esme. I decided on some music, playing what ever was still in the system since I was too lazy and indecisive to look for something specific.

"Food," I mumble to myself, walking like a dying animal to my kitchen.

I stood carelessly on my counter, scouring the highest cupboard for the pancake mix and hummed the familiar tune I couldn't actually name. I stop short when I hear something hard crash to the floor. As my adrenaline kicks in, I hit pause on the remote that controls my system and listen as something else hits the floor. Holy shitballs, I'm being robbed. Harry must've left the door unlocked, not surprisingly, he probably didn't care if I was robbed or kidnapped for all I know.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I whisper when I realize I left my phone in my room.

This is it, I'm going to die. I should find a pen and paper to write a quick note to Zayn and Fin as I have the chance.

I think fast, and sprint towards Harry's room, seeing as though it's the closest thing to me, and the farthest from the noise coming from upstairs. Let us pray that Harry keeps a phone in this room of his.

I quietly close the door behind me and scan the messy room. When a loud, "clang" fills my ears, I jump, and so does something in his bed. Shit, there's two of them!

"What the fu--" the groggily and deep voice groans, sitting up fast.

I was both relieved and scared to see the long mess of hair in the bed and I almost want to hug him. Almost.

"Esme? Wha-, what is that noise?" he asks, pulling his hair out of his face.

"I don't know I think we're being robbed!" I ramble out, completely taken over by nerves.

His mood changes and he seems more alert as he gets two his feet, in only, guess...his Calvin Kleins. "I want you to stay in here, promise you won't leave this room no matter what you hear, okay?" he grabs a bat and runs out his room, locking the door behind him.

Minutes pass and I'm panicking like a maniac as his door knob jingles.

As it opens it shows a grumpy Harry with a grumpy looking kitten in his massive hands. "I uh, I guess I should've told you I brought this stray home last night..." he mutters ever so lightly.

"Oh. It's okay, I guess...well, I'll go now.." I keep my head down and start to head to the door.

As I'm halfway out, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back in. Like literally pulls me inside again, nothing romantic and cute about it. I'm scared to face him but he doesn't give me a choice when he shuts the door once and again and puns me up against it.

The strands of his hair tickles my forehead and he's breathing heavily, making sure not to break eye contact. He leans in a bit closer and I feel his hand run from my thigh, up my tank top and onto my back.

"Kiss me already," I practically beg, wrapping my hands around his neck as our lips finally meet. I knew he was trying to test the waters first, maybe afraid I'd pull away and reject him again, but something inside me told me I wanted this, need it.

...

"Fucking Esme, can you at least say something," Harry's voice shook me from my little fantasy as he stood impatiently.

The cat hops out of his grasps and on to his desk before curling into a ball.

"Sorry, I was just...in shock. I'll leave now," I say as I get to my feet and to the door. I take my time, hoping my little dream would actually happen, but I find myself in the hallway with his door closed behind me. Damn, he really must hate me.

No.

No, I could not put up with this bullshit any longer, which makes me find myself bursting into his room again.

"No." I say aloud and he stares hard at me.

There's silence for awhile as I try to think of words to say but before I can, Harry says something. "Esme, please leave."

"No! I'm tired of this fighting! Actually, it's not even fighting, I'd kill to argue with you, to actually speak to each other, but you avoid me constantly and it makes me feel like shit! I'm sorry Harry, I'm truly sorry that I can't retaliate the same feelings you have for me, and I'm honestly so sorry if you think I'm a tease but-"

"Dammit Esme, shut up! This isn't just about you, not everything in my life revolves around you! Haven't you stopped and thought maybe it's because I have yet to find a job? Find my own home, and stop living off of you? Fuck, I've known you've never felt the same way I feel about you since high school! Okay, yes, maybe when I landed in New York I held on to the smallest hope that you and I could possibly be something bigger, but then I saw Niall, and it all hit me, you will never love me the way you love him, and it has been hard to cope with it, but your love is the last of my worries at this point, so just shut up." He rants out, ending with a deep breath in and out.

I'm still lost for words but I manage to say, "You're going to find a job, you're not living off of me or I'd say so, and i had the same idea when you landed, that we could be something bigger," I walk slowly over and sit next to him on his bed. "But I realized we're better off friends, and so have you. "

Before he can respond his phone rings and he puts it on speaker.

"Hello Emma." Harry dryly answers.

"Hi Emma," I attempt to sound more pleasant. "It's Esme."

"Great, I was just calling to invite you both to dinner at our house tonight. I invited Fin and Zayn as well." She sounds just as uptight on the phone.

"Oh why on earth would you suddenly have a dinner at your home, hm? Just for old time sake?" Hardy harshly responds.

"Uh, we'll be there! What time?" I quickly say before an argument can brew.

"Eight, sharp. I'll see you then, bye now!" She tells me before abruptly hanging up.

"What was that harshness about?" I try not to laugh. I was so proud of him for sassing Emma, but I still wanted a serious response. "She's a cold hearted bitch, she hates us too. I just wanted to know why she'd even want us in her fancy posh house again." He answers, still a little grumpy about the short conversation.

I almost completely forgot about our previous banter until he says, "And you're right, we are better off as friends."

(A/N: Can you hear that summer breeeze? :) oxox, Dee!)