Bittersweet

18

What the hell am I thinking? I don't even know these people and I ask them for a ride to the airport? Lets not forget that I ditched everyone and I'm almost certain Fin will be pissed. I should call. Not now, of course, until after I get my ticket back home. Good thing I had yet to book a flight back. Now I was mostly sobered up, I should be if I'm going to an airport, and my head hurts from everything I remembered. I think I'm officially swearing off drinking, it's not the best out come. Why am I always running from my problems? I know why, because I'm Esme, that dumb childish twenty-three year old who will be forever alone.

"We're here." Zayn's Cousin, Justin, says in a small voice as the car halts. "You sure you're okay Esme, I can call Zayn if you want?"

"No, I'll call him later, before I get on the plane. But thank you so much for taking me, have a good evening." I fake my best nice attitude before climbing out the back, with my extra large suitcase in hand. I made my way to one of the ladies working the front desks and reach for my wallet. "Can I have the next flight to New York please? Any airline will do."

After typing away on her computer she says, "The next flight is in forty minutes with British Airways and there's only two first class seats available for £8,950."

I wince at the price but still hand her my credit card and she swipes it before typing more stuff and heading to a back room. Minutes go by before she's back with my ticket and her forced smile. I don't blame her though, it's almost one in the morning and I'd feel the same way.

After taking my ticket, I quickly go through the needed customs- thankfully of it being 1 A.M there wasn't any lines-, before reaching my gate with just enough time to call Zayn.

"Hello?" A groggily voice answers.

"Hi Zayn, I'm at Heathrow heading back home and I just wanted to let you guys know. I'm sure Fin is past out, but still."

"What!? Esme are you nuts! What happened? Actually, who happened!? You can't just run out like that!" He sounds more awake and if anyone's near him, they'd definitely wake up.

"I thought I was past the faze too, whatever, I've gotten way to much of everything and it's time to go back to what I'm used too."

"What you're used to? Wow, I thought you learned that running from your problems wasn't the answer, I thought this would've benefit you, but obviously I was wrong. Obviously you'll never know what's good for you." Now he sounds disappointed and tired again, making my heart sink. He was right, he always was.

"What's good for me is if I leave and leave now. You wouldn't get it--"

"Wouldn't get it? Wouldn't get what! Esme, I have been through everything with you, literally! What is it that I won't get?"

Mood swings of Zayn Malik, everyone.

"That they're both fucking in love with me! Like they both told me to my face they are in love with me and guess the fuck what? Harry's liked- loved me since eleventh grade! What the hell are you going to say to make this all seem like it's normal?"

There was dead silence for a long moment and I had thought he'd hung up until he sighed.

"Go, I'll tell Fin tomorrow, the truth that is. Like I told you back home, you need a break from them and you need a new one right now. Call when you land, I don't care what time it is, call. Stay safe sis, love you."

"I will. Love you too, bye."

Talking with Zayn somewhat calmed my nerves but there were business men looking at me with strange glares from my outburst. Oh well. I hope the get a kick out of my crazy life.

"Flight 326 to New York has begun boarding for seats 1A to 4A." The air host announces.

*

Harry's POV

"She's what?" West repeats himself, sitting his tea with his finger.

"She got a call from work, some famous model chick is in town and they got the change to photograph her so she had to leave early." Fin says again but I know she's lying.

I was with Esme hours ago and I know why she's gone. It's me. I pushed so much on her, I shouldn't have said what I did. I'm so stupid to believe that she'd ever love me. Niall can be married with four kids and I still won't be enough for her.

"I've already booked a flight, I'm leaving in an hour." I tell the group who give me confused stares. "I don't think Esme alone is a good thing and there's nothing left for me to do here anyways."

"Oh come on Harry, you don't have to lie to us! We know you guys are hooking up." Matt winks and I could see Niall stiffen at that second. I would call him out on it, but we were supposed to be getting along and his fiancé was in the room. No need to add on to my stress level anyways. "We are not hooking up, Matthew." I tease him with his full name that makes him cringe.

"Don't you ever call me that, you aren't my mother." He grunts and folds his arms to his chest.

"You sure she's okay?" Niall switches back to the topic and still looks tense. "Why would you care, Harry's going there today." Emma almost instantly shoots back, grabbing everyone's attention. Niall chokes on his coffee and spits it back out saying, "I don't, I just wanted to know, is that so bad?"

Yes, very bad.

"I don't know Niall, is it?" She asks him in an almost devious way, smiling and all before leaving the kitchen. I swear she's insane, it'd explain a lot.

"Did you tell her or something?" Taylor whispers to Niall but glances to me. "And why would I do that?" I raise my eyebrows as I sip my tea. "I bet you hinted it to her, dick head." Niall gives me a disgusted look and the tension raises almost immediately.

"Yes because I'm that much of a douche." I surprise them all as I get up and push my seat in. "My taxi will be here in twenty minutes, I should get my stuff ready."

I knew there was purpose behind me leaving New York, and now I'm walking right back in to this mess.

For her.

Esme's POV

It was six AM when I arrived and I quickly texted Zayn I had landed and was waiting for a cab to take me home.

Sometimes I wonder why I choose to do the things I do. Why run? Why not face everyone and get things over with? Those questions had been taunting me the whole plane ride, and when we landed, my head was throbbing, my nose was stuffed, and the only seemingly good warmth was the coffee I bought from Starbucks earlier.

It's every time I surround my self with those people; they ultimately bring me problems that become so overbearing. In tired of them, I'm tired of growing up and I'm tired of attempting to have a love life. Maybe I'll become a nun and call it a day. That way we'll all move on, and the only man in my life will be Jesus.

"Ma'am, there's a taxi right over there." A man points to the yellow cab and I smile weakly in response before rolling over to it. The driver kindly takes my baggage and puts it in the back as I take a seat and sip my coffee some more.

"Before I ask for an address, would you like the quick way, or the scenic route?" The driver asks.

"Scenic, please?" I really miss my New York, and a good long scenic route would be nice. Especially since there's no one else here to be with.

(A/N: idk is this short? Maybe? Idk. I'll possibly write another chapter this weekend, possibly not.

If you're still reading, THANK YOU SO MUCH YOURE AMAZING. If you're not, then this won't apply to you! (:

I want to call out an old reader of mine, @darcy_rose , where are you girl!? You were one of my very first readers and if I have the chance, I'm dedicating this one to you!

Mkay, I'm gonna go! Comment what you think and vote pls!

Love you all, ox, Dee)