Letters from India

84. Happy Return to Prasanthi Nilayam - June 1988

Happy Return to Prasanthi Nilayam

June 18, 1988

Prasanthi Nilayam

Sai Ram all,

Ah, home again! I know heart is the real home, but I'm not that advanced yet. ;-) Swami left the dreaded (Om Sai Ram – forgive me!) Whitefield alies Brindavan, on June 9, 1988, and returned to Prasanthi Nilayam.

I came the same day via government bus, with a group of 7 Telugu ladies! They talked all in Telugu whole way - I considered it a good sign for staying in the ashram and India. :-) They adopted me for the trip, we sat together, bought food for each other etc.

I joyfully arrived in the ashram and went straight to Public Relation’s office. I was greeted with all the office gents who looked at each other and kept repeating sarcastically, “Here she is, she’s back, she’s arrived; once here, she’ll never leave.” They half-heartedly registered me (perhaps in fear of “Immortal” - Chiranjivi Rao - if they didn’t accept me)! I got a room in R3 D13 with one very young (aged 23) sweet Australian girl. She’s quite advanced in her thinking, though only very, very new to Sai and spirituality.

Venkamma greeted me with so much love, making it a point for people to see she’s accepting me. It seems she’s told a few people some of my Parvatamma stories I revealed to her, making Parvatamma look bad. Venkamma stays on my side, “Poor girl; poor girl being mistreated like that.” At first I felt really bad that Venkamma did this, she could’ve just kept quiet. But, I told her these things about Parvatamma before, in trust and having reverence for her, so I'm trying to consider the consequence of my actions as part of Sai’s Will.

Parvatamma is living in the village again, so she is only coming to bring Sai’s food at bhajan. She used to sit in a chair where she could see the people on the back verandah (including me) but the first day she picked up the chair (looked like angrily) and placed it several feet forward, so that she is not visible to anyone on the back verandah. That is all I see of her. I did happen to walk past Satyavati, the girl who helped Parvatamma at night and slept there at night (when Parvatamma was in the ashram). She gave me a really, really angry stare. Sigh.

Anyway, I feel much relieved and simply content to carry on my sadhana quietly.

Swami is giving Darshan as usual. The first day I happened to get front line and it happened to be inches from where Parvatamma’s daughter and granddaughters sat! (They were here for a few days.) Quite a coincidence! I was holding my breath. Simply they all ignored me – Swami also didn't come close that day.

I’ve started to cook some of my own food. I found that eating only at the canteen, I was spending Rs 6 a day, at least! (45 cents.) Then I found that if I cook in the room, I would spend that much every four days only. Ingrid has lent me her electric stove, and a foreigner had given me a nice, foreign immersion heater. I make tea with milk & sugar, a couple veggies and ragi (a high-protein, very inexpensive health-food flour) every day. Now and then people give me fruit (today Venkamma gave me a mango).

My Telugu lessons continue, learning new words daily and reading daily both stories (easy) and Ramayana (hard). Also I started to learn a few Vedic chants, including Bhagavad Githa slokas.

I feel life is going smoothly and exactly right, perfectly.

So, so many people here! It is like a mini-festival. All parents and children have come for hopeful admission into the schools. School will start in a week then it should clear up.

All is going on as usual. All Telugu people and others here, being sweet to me as usual (with the exception of three or four of Parvatamma’s close friends!). As for lines, Swami is dividing it fairly equally: half the time I get back lines, the other half, first! In the last 7 Darshans I got three front lines.

Recently in the Mandir I asked Sai to reduce Parvatamma’s anger if she had any, that everything may go on normally (without me, and without trouble). Swami looked at me when I said all this, and then kept nodding and nodding, still looking at me! (You know how rare that is for me!) So that gave me hope.

Be well – Sai blessings.

Love,

Divya