Learning To Love Again (Completed)

Learning To Love Again Chapter 11

I spent the next few days walking around in a blur. I spent my evenings at the pub getting as drunk as humanly possible. I couldn’t believe she hadn’t told me about her son. Why hadn’t she told me? The last couple of weeks had been the best couple of weeks of my life and I wouldn’t change them for anything. All sorts of thoughts were coming into my head and I couldn’t stop them. If she’d kept this from me, what else hadn’t she told me about?

And this is where I was now. In the pub. I’d been here for about an hour, had 2 scotches, 3 vodka shots and a JD and coke. 

“Same again” I slurred as I called over the barman and handed over the empty JD and coke glass. 

 “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” He asked, concerned.

“When I’ve had enough, I’ll tell you I’ve had enough and I’ll go home. But right now, I’ve not had enough, so I’ll have another JD and Coke, please” I was slurring my words and I could feel a slight headache coming on. The barman passed me another drink and I stumbled over to take a seat in one of the booths. After a few minutes, I looked up to see a blonde girl staring at me from the bar.

“Hello, gorgeous” I said as she came over and sat next to me.

“Hiya, sexy. My name’s Jenny” she said as she ran her hands up my leg. 

“Jackson” I replied, taking another swig of my drink.

“I’ve not seen you in here before” she purred, whilst rubbing her hands further up my legs.

“I’m in here regularly” I snapped. I looked down at her hands on my legs. I couldn’t stop thinking about Payton. Everywhere I looked I saw Payton’s face; I just couldn’t get her out of my head.

“Alright, alright” she scolded. “You’ve obviously got some issues you need sorted out” She got up and left me there to drown my sorrows.  

My days were spent in The A&E department, working, trying to get Payton out my head and trying to avoid her where possible. I just couldn’t face her. If she felt like she couldn’t trust me enough to tell me she had a son, then where would our relationship be going?

It was now Friday again and I’d managed to avoid her for the whole of the working week, but as I left the hospital on Friday evening, she was waiting for me outside.  I tried not to look at her, she looked beautiful as always and I knew that if I looked into her eyes, I’d just melt and wouldn’t get any answers.

“His name’s Thomas. He’s 4 years old” she whispered softly as I tried to walk past her. I stopped behind her and turned round to face her. A tear fell down her cheek and she raised her hand to wipe it away.

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” I asked. I had so many other questions I wanted to ask, but they could wait. The tears were flowing freely now, she looked uncomfortable again. A look I hadn’t seen her have for a few weeks. She’d been relaxed and more confident around me and now it had all gone to waste.

“Can we go somewhere to talk? Somewhere private?” she asked, looking around at all the people around us, looking nervous again.

“Sure,” I replied, walking her towards my car. “Where do you want to go?”

She thought for a second. “My place?” What about Thomas? Would he be there? I didn’t want to talk about this in front of a 4 year old. She must have read my mind because she continued

“Thomas won’t be there. He spends most weekends with my parents.” When we arrived at her flat, we went in, Payton put the kettle on, and I went and sat in the living room.

“So why didn’t you tell me?” I asked when she came in with the tea a few minutes later. She sat down and took a breath.

“I wanted to see how we went first. I didn’t want to bring Thomas into the situation and complicate things yet”

“He’s Alex’s child, right?” I asked, curious. I couldn’t see why he wouldn’t be, but I had to ask

“Yes, he’s Alex’s” she shuddered and I noticed she was crying again. “When I left Redhill with him 6 years ago, it wasn’t long before I got pregnant. Only about 6 months. He started forcing himself on me 3 months into our relationship when I wouldn’t put out. I was a virgin before then.” Wait, what did she mean she was a virgin before then? Does she mean she’s never had sex of her own free will? “I know what you’re thinking” she whispered “Everyone’s said it. I should have left straight away, I know I should have. But I couldn’t. I thought I loved him.”

“No, that’s not what I’m thinking.” I had to ask “Is Thomas a result of rape?” she looked away from me and nodded.

“What a Bastard!” I shouted. I was outraged. I could feel myself getting worked up; my fists clenched and my jaw tightened. I stood up and ran my hands through my hair.

“Calm down” Payton soothed as she stood up next to me and wrapped her hands around my waist, leaning her head on my chest. The feel of her wrapped around me was the best feeling ever. I’d missed this. 

She looked up at me and smiled. That smile that melted my heart. It was breath taking. I moved down towards her and my lips brushed against hers. As our lips crashed together, I felt like I was walking on air. I mean, I could die right now and be fine with it. I’d be fine, as long as I was kissing her. We fell back onto the sofa kissing passionately and I lifted her top up and over her head and noticed the scars again. Payton caught me looking at them and a lone tear fell down her face. I moved towards her and kissed the tear away before whispering in her ear

“You’re beautiful. Those scars are part of you now, and I love every single part of you” She relaxed again and moved her hand down and grabbed the bulge in my jeans. “Oh, God” I moaned as she unzipped the zipper and placed her hands under the material, grabbing me again. I pulled her trousers down and rubbed her over her pants. I pulled her pants down and we made love there on the sofa.

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Afterwards, we lay there on the sofa together, Payton had her legs wrapped around my legs and her head was resting on my shoulder. She’d fallen asleep and was snoring lightly. As I tried to move, she pulled me closer.

“Come on, beautiful, I’m cold” I whined. We were still naked and it was getting a bit chilly.

“Mmm, ok, she mumbled and sat up rubbing her eyes. “How about we move into the bedroom?” she raised her eyebrows, suggestively. I chuckled as she led the way to her bedroom and we had sex until the early hours when we fell asleep exhausted.