Learning To Love Again (Completed)

Learning To Love Again Chapter 8

JACKSON'S POV

As I left her flat, I couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment washing over me. Did she really think that all I was after was a quick shag and then leave? Maybe that was the case for other girls, but not for her. She was so damn beautiful and she had a hold on me, and I couldn’t place my finger on it. Before I’d left, I moved the card from the flowers and slipped it under her bedroom door. Her smile was such a friendly smile. I remembered what she’d said about her ex-boyfriend being a bad man. What had he done to make her this jumpy around others? I didn’t dare think about it. The thoughts that came into my head were atrocious. How could a man do that to a woman? My phone buzzed in my pocket and I smiled as I noticed there was a message from Payton.

Thank you, Jacky Boy. See you at work on Monday  x

I replied:

No. Thank you, Beautiful Payton. See you on Monday xx

Over the next couple of days, Payton was all I could think about. She was just so damn perfect in every way. She invaded my thoughts and my dreams and the way she smiled took my breath away every time I thought about it. We exchanged texts all weekend and by the time Monday morning came around, she seemed a lot happier to be near me again. I saw her with Mary Jane standing outside the hospital and when she saw me, that beautiful smile arrived again.

“Hi” I muttered, pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek. She was pale and clammy.  “Are you ok?” I asked, worriedly.

“I’m fine.” She nodded. “I’ve just not had much sleep”. She rubbed her head and yawned. “I’ll be fine once I’m inside and I’ve had a kettle full of coffee” she laughed.

The day was a busy one. Ordering blood tests, calling wards, bleeping specialties for advice, reviews, calling other hospitals, ensuring procedures are booked, talking to relatives, chasing after patients. I coincided my break with Payton’s so we could have lunch together as we weren’t meeting up this evening.  I wanted to know more about her ex-boyfriend, if she’d talk about it.

“Hey, Beautiful” I kissed her on the cheek as we met up on the green outside the hospital. “Which sandwich did you get?” I asked, hoping she’d share. Ok, I’m a pig.

“I got a ham salad” she smiled, and looked over at mine. “Swap?” she asked, holding half of her sandwich up for me to take it. I took it and gave her half of my cheese and pickle. We sat in silence for a while. I was watching her eat her sandwich. She looked deep in thought. She looked so beautiful just sat there under the sun staring mindlessly at all the people that walked past.

A few minutes passed before she realised what she was doing.

“Oh, sorry.” She apologised. “I do that a lot, just poke me or something if I’m zoning out” she admitted.

“I’d love to poke you” I grinned suggestively. She laughed and shook her head.

“I walked into that one, eh?” She laughed,

“Oh, yes” I nudged her a little.

“So tell me a little about your life in Milton Keynes.” I wanted to know more. She hadn’t told me much. Only that she’d left 6 years ago and not been back long. I’d noticed the scars on Saturday and I had an idea of what she was going to say.  She tensed up and looked away from me. Damn, this bloke has really scared her, I thought as she looked up at me with sad eyes, tears about to form.

“Um, it was good. For a while.” She wiped away some of the tears that were falling and continued.“But I didn’t see much of the town. I was pretty much a housewife. ” she sniffed. That didn’t tell me much about what happened to make her this jittery, just that she hardly went out of the house. She sat up straight and brought her knees to her chest and taking a deep breath in she said “he raped me, he beat me, he strangled me and put me in hospital countless amount of times. He’d pin me down, tie me to the bed and have sex with me against my will and he’d make me touch him. Then if I dared try move he’d punch me, kick me, and then rape me again.” The tears were flowing down her cheeks now. “The last time he did it, I was in hospital for 3 weeks. Now can you see why I’m not ready for anything serious?” she asked. “I can’t let that happen again.”

 I was so shocked. I had an idea of what had happened, but I had no idea it would be this bad. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into me hugging her.

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, but you’ve got to give me a chance, Payton. I’m nothing like that man.” I soothed.

“

I just can’t let it happen again” she repeated, looking uncomfortable around me again.

“Payton, look at me” I said, pulling her face round to look at me “I am NOTHING like that man. No, not man… that would be an insult towards men. That Animal. Do you understand? I will never let him hurt you. Just give me a chance.” She didn’t answer and I was starting to feel disappointment setting in.

“Ok. I’ll give you a chance, how about Friday?” she asked, still sniffling from crying.

 I smiled and she looked up at me and smiled back. She grabbed my hand and pulled me close, so I stood up and helped her up off the grass. We stood there wrapped in each other’s arms for what seemed like only a few moments.

“Ugh, get a room” I heard from behind us. I turned round to see Mary Jane pretending to retch and I laughed. “They want you back in A&E Jackson, there’s an RTA arriving in a few minutes, so they need a quick briefing.

“Ugh.” I groaned. I was happy here with Payton. I could stand here all day talking with her and it would only seem like seconds had passed. “Will you be okay?” I asked her gently. Her eyes were puffy red and her mascara running down her cheeks. She nodded so I kissed her again and made my way into the hospital