Compromise Me (Book Two of the Kirkland Family)

Compromise Me: Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The evidence was all around her.  Josie stood in Travis’ empty office on Monday morning, seeing the photos on the walls, the crayon scribblings stuck behind magnets...the little painted rock used as a paper weight.  She saw Tristan, the cute kid, in most of those pictures, how he was now and some as a baby, and she experienced a rush of stupidity all over again.

I didn’t see it...I never saw it…what is wrong with me?

Josie sat down in Travis’ desk chair and wiped her eyes.  Granted, most of the pictures with the little boy were taken with Arielle and a tall, sandy-haired man, and several with Travis, too, but unless she really looked, she would have never guessed that Travis had a son before Saturday night.  She would have glanced at those pictures and saw Travis with a sister, maybe, and her kid and husband...in fact, she was sure she’d done just that.  But it seemed every time she was here in his office, her eyes only went to him...nothing else.

And for the first time in twelve years, Josie truly questioned why she fell in love with him.  Why she still loved him.  In the beginning, she guessed, it was because he was cute and older and her daddy would have freaked out.  Now...she wasn’t so sure anymore.  Travis was still cute -- better than cute -- and older and her daddy would absolutely freak out if he knew.  

Why do I love you, Travis?  She looked again, looked harder.  His desk was a mess.  There were two coffee cups making rings on a folder, candy wrappers piled up next to his pen cup, and a disorganized stack of papers anchoring all four corners of the desk.  

That can’t be it, she thought.  His sloppy ways would drive her nuts.

She picked up a framed photo of him and Tristan as a baby.  There was love shining in Travis’ eyes.  Maybe that’s why?  Because she’d seen the same expression in her father’s face as he gazed at his children...that pure devotion and unbiased regard.  But she didn’t know he had a son until that weekend, so that couldn’t really be the reason.  Unless, it was because she saw the potential of him as such a person.

Lastly, her eyes settled on an open guitar case in the corner.  It was cracked and worn, but the guitar inside had been well-loved.  The black lacquer gleamed as though it received a regular polish, and the gold hardware shined brightly.  Josie knew that Travis had always been passionate about music, and now she could see that he devoted more than just his work hours to the soul of the song.  He had his band, and he was serious about his own music.  Just as serious Josie had been when she started singing and learning guitar.

When was the last time I played? she mused.  Not since moving to Memphis.  She only brought one of her guitars with her, the rest stayed back home in Conway at her parents’ house.  

Feeling lost, Josie stood up and walked to her own office...still unsure as to why her heart sang for Travis Fischer.  Maybe it was the music...maybe it was the deference for his child...maybe it was because, as awful as she was as a teenager, he never told her to shut up, go away...or maybe it was because he didn’t love her and her father would castrate him if he did.  

An uneasiness darkened a part of her.  She had a strong feeling that last “maybe”...that was the reason she fell in love with Travis, a stupid, childish reason.