Veinte

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~20~

It was three months ago when I received— I mean, read rather— several text messages coupled with countless missed calls. Some were from my family checking me out, and some… from him.

I blamed myself for not being particular with my mobile phone then.

Three months ago.

Kung tutuusin, that was long enough for me to feel at ease now and have the guts to explain myself to him. Of why I didn't even bother to reply right ahead. Nang magtext at tumawag siya.

It was an honest mistake though dahil hindi ko naman talaga iyon sinadya.

But hell, I couldn't move a muscle.

Nakapako lang ang mga mata ko sa mukha ni Mason habang unti-unti kong napagtanto kung gaano ka-sadista ang ginawa ko.

At muli ay parang nanliliit ang pakiramdam ko sa hiya.

 

It was almost five months now when he attempted to ask me out.

Alam ko kung gaano kahirap sa isang tao ang magkaroon ng lakas ng loob na ayain akong lumabas.

Dahil hindi naman kami magkaibigan.

Pero ano nga ba kami? Argh, ang gulo! Basta!

Must be five gruelling months for him to think why I didn't reply to any of his messages.

Or am I wrong? I mean, maybe he didn't really feel bad about it now?

I don't know.

Because I do.

I keep on looking at him in the eyes. And I got lost.

Cause all I could feel was my sanity, as if accusing me of a crime I have committed five months ago. My own jittery hands at the back of my shorts, my cold and clammy skin making involuntary spasms, and the thumping sound of my heart that's making me deaf…

I feel sorry for what I've done and I’m freaking nervous like hell!

Wala naman kaming relasyon pero bakit— ugh!

"I-I'm sorry...?"

Saan galing iyon, Louie?

It's the least thing that I could do now, right? Ang mag-sorry?

Naiinis ako kasi hindi ko napaghandaan ang pagkikita naming 'to.

Bakit kasi ngayon, Mase? Sana bukas na lang. Si Jem ang—

Ikinagulat ko ang biglang pagngiti ni Mason kaya bahagyang na-disorient ako. I waited for him to say something, something about it pero iba ang namutawi sa bibig nito, "Mamaya na tayo mag-usap. Ano'ng... meron?"

Miss Astig 2Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon