still holding on | a boys over flowers fanfiction

i'm scared of what might happen in the future?

When I got home, my phone rang. I finished up the last of my homework and answered he phone.

"Hello?" I said. I began putting away my things and slowly slouched in my chair.

"Ji-Hoo?" I said after a while.

"So-Young," He said. I held the phone closer to my ear.

"Will you please meet me in front of Namsan Tower?" He asked. I looked around.

"Why?"

"Just come. I promise it'll be worth it." I thought for a moment before answering.

"I'll be there soon. Bye." I ended the call and began putting on my winter gear. I can't let him wait in the snow like that! I slid on my black, fuzzy boots and a thick gray sweater with a red puff jacket. I put on my hat and scarf as I gathered my things and headed out the door. I waved to my mom and brothers as I stumbled out the door.

"I'll come back soon!" I yelled. The last thing I heard was shouts and complaints.

I panted as I arrived to the tower. My breath made it's mark in the air and I looked around.

"Where is he?" I said to myself.

"So-Young!" I turned around and looked further. It wasn't just Ji-Hoo, but everyone else as well; Jun-Pyo, Woo-Bin, even Jan-di and Ga Eul. The only one missing was Yi-Jeong. I smiled under my scarf as they made their way over to me.

"It's Wednesday, don't we have school tomorrow?" I said. Woo-Bin grinned.

"We never said we would go out late. We just want to cheer up our friend." I sighed and crossed my arms.

"Did you really make your friend run all the way from her house so you could just cheer her up?" I said. Ga Eul and Jan-di laughed. They grabbed my arms and they all lead me the city, lights and all.

"We're just going shopping?"

"No," Jan-di said.

"We making your day better."

And so we went into every shop there was, and looked at all the shimmering lights. Just like that day with Ji-Hoo. And as much as I denied it, I really needed that. For once, I forgot about all my sadness, and actually had true, genuine fun. Ga Eul and Jan-di brought me to a lot of clothing stores, while Woo-Bin and Jun-Pyo brought us to look at all the buildings and where all the best views were. It was fun, and my heart hadn't felt so light after the quarrel with Yi-Jeong. It was just me and Ji-Hoo left, after the others left because of their parents, or because they were getting too cold.

I leaned on the railing, gazing at the stars. I felt a nudge and was greeted by a hot cup of coffee. I thanked Ji-Hoo and went back to star-gazing. After a while I spoke.

"Even though I wasn't a fan of the idea at first, I really enjoyed tonight." I said quietly.

"I'm glad you did." I glanced at Ji-Hoo. I looked at his hair then back at the buildings below.

"You should really cut your hair." I guess my comment caught him off guard.

"You sound like Seo-Hyun." I laughed lightly and sipped my coffee.

"I like it, but I'd think you'd look better without all the hair covering your face." I said. I swallowed my coffee and sighed.

"Aren't you scared?" I looked to him.

"There's a lot of things I'm scared of right now."

"Like the future, or how your life will be after your graduation ends?" I sulked into my sweater.

"Those are some. But graduation is far, and I have the good grades to get by." He replied to my statement quickly.

"I never thought I'd see the day where So-Young would be scared of things so controllable." I scoffed, looking down.

"Controllable?"

"You are the most independent and confident girl I have ever met. In situations like these, I always thought you would have a way out."

"Sometimes mazes never have a way out. There comes times where there is absolutely no way out, no matter how much time you spend on trying to escape." I whispered. I was suddenly pulled into a hug, my cup sitting on the railing.

"I want to help you, but I just don't know how. You're so independent whenever I try to cheer you up it feels like I'm making no difference." He mumbled. I hugged him back tightly.

"What you do for me doesn't matter. All that can make me happy is you walking beside me the whole time," I said quietly.

"Just don't ever leave my side. Okay?"

"Okay."

When we pulled away he looked down at me. I looked up at him and stared at his eyes.

The space between us closed slowly.  I panicked.

Did I want to kiss him? I don't know. Did he really like me this whole time? I don't know. Will I be sent to hell for not kissing him? Probably.

I stood there with my lips closed and out. My eyes were shut and I waited for his lips to touch mine. But they never came. I opened my eyes and saw him staring at my lips closely, but not kissing them. His hand rest gently on my cheek and I stood there, staring back at him.

"I wish I could kiss you," He sighed and looked to the stars.

"But even through all this, I know it wouldn't make you happy." I looked down, a little relieved but also disappointed. I followed his gaze and up at the stars.

"C'mon, I'll drive you home." I nodded and took my coffee with me and followed him to his motorcycle. We put on the helmets and drove home. I looked at all the buildings one last time before we arrived at my house. We got off and I gave the helmet back hesitantly. I was going to go up the stairs when he called my name. I turned around and he waved, with a smile. I gripped the railing to the stairs and contemplated. I stood there for a moment before he called out to me again.

"So-Young? Are you okay?" I then swiftly turned around and ran down the stairs. He was shocked and took his hands out of his pockets. I ran up to him and grabbed his coat collar. I pulled him down to my level and slowly pressed my lips to his warm cheek, holding it for a while. I slowly pulled back and he looked to me, shocked out also a little pleased. After a while I smiled, a little happy for my spontaneous move. I let go of his collar and looked down. He touched his cheek and chuckled. I looked to him and frowned.

"I kissed you and now you're laughing?" I crossed my arms. He rested his hand on my head and got back in his motorcycle. He smiled at the ground once more before driving off. I smiled happily and ran up the stairs to my home. I closed the door as the living room remained quiet and still. I silently began jumping around the room and sighed when I got to my room. I sat in chair and looked to the stars. I thought about what mom said earlier.

Soul mate and true love. I shut my eyes and tilted my head.

"I don't know which one you are, but I really don't want to loose you right now."