Amnesia (Camren)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: No Way

Lauren

Lucy left as soon as we got to Midland. I was a little bummed that she had to go but with the promise that we would be reunited at the end of the tour, I kissed her goodbye, wished her good luck on her next project and made her promise to text or call me once she was where she needed to be. That was a couple of days ago...

The last two days I had a fit of ill humor. I snapped easily and had little patience to handle the rift between the girls. Whenever I had to spend more than 30 minutes with their ludicrous attitude, I would go off on a rampage. I would yell at them to kiss and make up so this whole situation would resolve itself. Lucy had helped me forget for those few hours we spent on the bus cuddled up next to each other. She had alleviated some of whatever this was. The moment she was gone, everything came tumbling back into view. I remembered my problem with Camila and the problem Norminah was having. My brain went back and forth, text Lucy and tell her we needed to talk to end it or stay with Lucy with the knowledge that Camila was done.

It was repetitive. I had been thinking the same thing for days and I was stuck on it. All of it could be solved with a simple conversation with Camila. I could ask her and then she could tell me if she was completely done with me or if I still had a chance. Then I would know the truth. I could stop with this back and forth nonsense my brain was going through. I could take this weight of guilt I was carrying around and abandon it along the path.

However, I was too chicken to ask her. I had tried many times to get her alone to talk. Every time I tried to get close, Normani would be there or Camila would be hanging out with Ashlee. This was one of those times. We had soundcheck soon for our Phoenix show and Camila was goofing around with Ashlee as she learned some new techniques on the guitar to strengthen her skills. I had been watching them, smiling to myself whenever Camila would laugh at a mistake she made. Her laugh was contagious. It had to do a lot with the way she would tilt her head back and give out a full belly-induced laugh. It was all or nothing. She didn't do it halfway.

The same could be said about her smile; the genuine smiles. Not the ones she would use when she was posing for the cameras or for the fans. The ones she would have on her face when she was explaining something she was passionate for. Like when she would talk about music with Ashlee or the latest book that she had read and how much she had fallen in love with the main character's struggle. Those were the best smiles, the ones that lit up her whole face and made those eyes brighter than what they already were.

I let out a wistful sigh.

"Should have kept her when you had the chance." Dinah was sitting to my right, staring into her phone. She was probably on some social media site posting a selfie or going through one of her feeds. Either way, she was invested in the device and not paying attention to what was going on around her to know why I was sighing.

I narrowed my eyes at Dinah. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I see the way you look at Mila. I'm not stupid-none of us are." She answered, not looking up from her phone.

I rolled my eyes. "I think you should mind your business, Hansen. You're in no better position than I am or did you forget that you and Mani aren't speaking unless it's absolutely necessary?"

"If she had just sided with me, then we wouldn't be having problems. But no she had to go and--Nevermind. The reason doesn't matter. Our situation is different than the one you have with Camila." This time, she turned her head to look at me as she spoke.

I scoffed. Did she honestly believe the bullshit she was saying? I turned to face her, rotating my body on the couch so she would see I was giving her my full attention. "Please, explain to me how your situation is different than mine. Because from where I'm sitting, I don't see Mani by your side being all lovey-dovey. I see you longing for her just as much as I am longing for Camz."