War Of Hearts (#1stBook of Heart's Series)

Chapter 10

(18+ ALERT!)
We really were going to do it.

Theondre leads me to his room, luxurious and beautiful, where there's a big bed there.

I know what's going to happen. But why? Why would Theondre wanted to do it? He didn't love me like I love him, right?

I began to question that, though. During our way here, he kept an arm around my waist, stealing a kiss here and there, to my forehead, cheeks, nose, lips.

I felt so warm and loved, the same feeling I got two years ago in Taranai's temple.

But did he really loved me, or is this just my favorite goddess doing... Helping her worshipper at least a night to remember before I die?

"Theondre, are we...?" I asked, my cheeks burned from embrassment. Theondre chuckled, "I won't go far if you didn't like it,love" he answered, "or if you're too afraid" he continued in a teasing tone.

I was confused. He just called me love. But he called me his Taranessu most of the time, so I can't really see the difference. Would I be just a disposable one night stand for him?

"I'm not afraid" I said at last. "I just... Don't know how" I continued, my cheeks burning even hotter.

"It's going to be just the same with having sex with a woman... Well, for me, at least. The difference is, I'm making love to you, not fucking you" he said gently, putting his hand on my cheek, his thumb softly wiping a tear away.

"You loved me too" I said, trying not to sound too stupid.

I'm making love to you.

I can't believe myself. Is this just a dream? Because if it's indeed just a dream, I won't mind not waking up. I rather live in this dream.

"I love you too, more than you ever know" he said, his eyes lit up beautifully, his expression happy and gentle.

"I love you, not as long as you've loved me, but at some point of my life you became my Taranessu. My most beloved. No one else's but you makes me happy. Not even Dai makes me happy as much as you are, and he's my flesh and blood. I loved you, every single part of you. That's why I pressed your father so much, because he hurts you. That's why I don't mind you're calling me by my name, because I love the way it sounds on your lips" he said, leaning closer to kiss my forehead, and then he whispered.

"I was just afraid of you, hating me after knowing the truth" he said.

I laughed,  "that's exactly how I felt all these times" I said. Theondre smiled, but then his smile turned into a frown, "is that why you wanted to die?" He asked.

I looked down, "yeah" I whispered, "I can't have you. I will never be able to built a family with you. You're my world, you're never mine. Death is sweeter for me. At least, I'll die knowing that you know I loved you, I'll die with love inside me. I'll die knowing love. I'll die before I get bitter for a long unrequited love"

Theondre pulled me to the bed with him, until I was seated on his lap, and his face was just an inch away from mine.

"Then don't die. Let me love you" he said, "you're my family, my lover. In my heart, you're my husband. I love you, and I promised I wouldn't let anything harms you. Don't die for me. Live for me. I won't be able to live without you" he whispered, "don't let me be like the gods, losing their mortal lovers to death, living for so long in pain and misery, knowing their loved ones have gone"

I was at loss of words. All of these was too much for me. I couldn't believe at how much he loved me, that my feeling was not unrequited.

So I leaned closer to him, letting our lips become one again.