Pure Manhood

"How are you supposed to keep your mind pure?"

God wants us to think about sex. Yes, you read that correctly. Unfortunately, guys almost never think about sex. They joke about it and dream about it, but they rarely actually stop and think about it. What is it? Who invented it?

To see God's original design for the gift of sex, we need to go back to the beginning, when sexual desire was experienced in a totally pure way. When Adam first saw Eve, his urge toward her was not felt as a selfish desire to take. Rather, he saw his call to love her. In fact, it was her naked body that revealed his call to make a total gift of himself to her. By doing so, together they imaged the very love of God. God's love is free, total, faithful, and life-giving, and so was theirs.

But the question really is: "What's wrong with fantasizing about sex, as long as I'm not actually doing it?" Actually, the fact that you're not doing it is part of the problem. If you're doing something sexual, you should be doing it as God intended. But we often turn away from our call to love and settle for its counterfeit, which is lust.

In the midst of your temptations, you must not forget that sexual desire is a gift from God. Being sexually attracted to beautiful women is not a sign that something is wrong with you. In fact, it's proof that something is right with you. Unfortunately, many guys assume that purity is unattainable because they do not understand the difference between sexual desire and lust. Since they can't prevent themselves from being sexually attracted and experiencing temptation, they think they're failing at chastity. So they despair, give up, and assume that God has a cruel sense of humor, giving men hormones and then expecting them not to think about sex.

But purity of heart does not eliminate sexual attraction. The pure man experiences the same desires as any other guy, but he refuses to let the beauty of a woman's body distract him from the dignity she deserves. A lustful man, on the other hand, takes the beauty of a woman's body and places it above the value of the woman herself.

When temptation occurs, a decision must be made. When you begin to entertain thoughts of using a girl and seeing her as an object, you have given in. Think of it this way: Sexual attraction is the invitation. Lust is when we accept it wrongfully, outside of our call to love.

If you begin to accept such invitations, you will find, as St. Augustine did, that "lust indulged became habit, and habit unresisted became necessity."5 He knew that our minds are not content with merely thinking about sex, just as our eyes are not satisfied with looking. God has designed our sexual desires to be all-consuming; if we arouse our desires, we will want to fulfill them.

The more we indulge in sexual thoughts and actions, the more difficult it is to stop them. It's easy to stop a train when the wheels begin to roll, but it takes a long time to stop it when it hits full speed. In the same way, the most crucial battle for our purity occurs when the temptation first appears. The more we give in, the weaker our wills become.

Ifyou can control your thoughts about women, you'll control your words, youreyes, and your actions. God cares about the purity of your thoughts becausethey reveal the state of your heart. Whatever wins the heart—purity orlust—will win the thoughts, the words, the body, and the soul for eternity.