Complete and Utter Hogwash (Book 5)

Chapter 4: No Need to Call Me Sir, Professor

Chapter 4: No Need to Call me Sir, Professor

The next morning we were getting our schedules for classes. When it was my turn to get my schedule from Professor Snape, he cleared my subjects for me on my sheet and I was left to head to my first class for the day.

Luckily, it wasn't actually that bad and the Professor didn't give us loads of homework like I thought I would get. It was my second class for Defense Against the Dark Arts with professor Snape. I sat down in my seat next to Hermione as Ron and Harry sat together. Draco was sitting in the back with Pansy all over him. I grimaced as I looked away.

"You have had five teachers in this subject so far, I believe." Snape said. "Naturally, these teachers will all have had their own methods and priorities. Given this confusion I am surprised so many of you scraped an O.W.L. in this subject. I shall be even more surprised if all of you manage to keep up with the N.E.W.T. work, which will be more advanced."

He set off around the edge of the room, speaking now in a lower voice. "The Dark Arts, are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and clever than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, and indestructible.

"Your defenses," said Snape, "must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the arts you seek to undo. These pictures given a fair representation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance, the Cruciatus Curse feel the dementor's kiss or provoke the aggression of the Inferius."

"Has an Inferius been seen, then?" asked Parvati. "Is it definite, is he using them?"

"The Dark Lord has used Inferi in the past," said Snape, "which means you will be well-advised to assume he might use them again. Now. . ." He walked across the classroom. "You are, I believe, complete novices in the use of nonverbal spells. What is the advantage of a nonverbal spell?"

No one raised their hand except for Hermione. "Very well, Miss Granger?"

"Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you're about to perform," said Hermione, "which gives you a split-second advantage."

"An answer copied almost word for word from the Standard Book of Spells, Grade Six," said Snape dismissively, "but correct in the essentials. Yes, those are progress in using magic without shouting incantations gain an element of surprise in their spell-casting. Not all wizards can do this, of course; it is a question of concentration and mind power which some lack."

"You will now divide," Snape went on, "into pairs. One partner will attempt to jinx the other without speaking. The other will attempt to repel the jinx in equal silence. Carry on."

Of course, everyone was practically cheating as they whispered quietly instead of doing it with their minds. I was against Hermione as I jinxed at her in perfect silence which earned Slytherin twenty points, but she repelled it in silence as well, earning nothing.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Snape flying backwards and hitting the desk. He righted himself scowling.

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"

"Yes," said Harry stiffly.

"Yes, sir."

"There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor," Harry said which left my mouth open ajar in awe. I grinned at my boy widely at his comeback.

"Detention, Saturday night, my office," said Snape. "I do not take cheek from anyone, Potter. . . . not even 'the Chosen One.'"

"That was brilliant, Harry!" chortled Ron after class.