I Like The Way It Hurts

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Ashley's Point of View:

I saw that nor Jinxx, Andy, CC, Destiny, Jake, or Ash were on the bus, so I snuck in and went to where Destiny was sleeping. I started looking through her bag for a razor. Yesterday, I had seen scars all over her arms and some looked fresh.

I found one and ran outside with it. I ran all the way back to the original spot I was in before. I pushed my bracelets down my arms so wrists were visible. I closed my eyes and brought the razor to my skin. I slowly pushed it down and felt warm liquid trickle out. It stung like hell, but then, it brought a soothing feeling to me. I felt relieved. Before I lost too much blood, I took my jacket off and pressed it against the cuts.

When they stopped bleeding I pushed my bracelets back up and buried the bloody razor in the dirt. It hurt worse  than the first time. I felt so weak. I felt like I had no other choice and that I was pathetic. I decided to pull myself together and walk back to the bus. Now, everyone was there. When I walked in, everything went silent.

"What?" I asked, innocently.

"He told me." Jinxx said. Everyone, but, Andy looked at Jinxx in confusion.

I glared at Andy. "I had to." He said.

"Come with me." Jinxx said, grabbing my hand.

He took me outside again.

"Is it true?" He asked once he shut the door. "Do you really love Ben?" He asked, quieter. I could tell just by the look on his face and the tone of his voice that he was hurt.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"Do you still love me?"

"So much."

"I dont understand."

I shook my head.

"Nobody does...but Andy."

He nodded. "I'm gonna go walk." He said.

I nodded.

"Okay."

He started to walk away and I knew right then, I had broke his heart. This was so horrible. I didn't know  what to do. I was so dead on the inside, wishing I was on the outside. I haven't  felt this way in a long time.

I walked back inside the bus, ignoring everyone else. I walked to me and Jinxx's bunk and laid down. My bracelets slid down my wrist and I saw the new scab forming.I ran my finger over it and felt so ashamed of myself.

That night, I slowly cried myself to sleep.

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