Back To You | Jerrie

Chapter 20

Perrie

Jesy laughs the way only she would, "I know. I told you she was an idiot. I'm not calling about Muffin. Natalie had the baby."

"That's wonderful. How is she? I wanted to call her, but I wasn't sure if I should." My voice is shaky. I became close with her, and we haven't spoken since the break-up. A rush of irritation at myself washes over me. I should've called her. She didn't deserve to be left out because Jade is a dick.

"She asked me to reach out to you. Nat scheduled Aaron's memorial for next week and asked for you to be there. She said she could use all the support she can get."

"Of course. I'll be there. Where is it?"

"Pennsylvania. In his home town."

"Okay."

Jesy takes a second and lets out a long breath. "Fuck it. I'm going to say this to you because I sure as hell won't say it next time I see you. I'm not going to tell you what to do. I'm not going to ask you to do anything. Just know this ... she loves you. In all the years I've known the bitch, she's never looked at anyone like she looks at you."

I start to cut her off, "Jes—"

"You both fucked this up and you're both miserable. Unless you're not?" she questions.

"I'm surviving," I reply, unwilling to lie to her but I don't want to give her any more.

"Isn't that great?" she answers sarcastically. "You're surviving, she's losing her fucking mind, and I'm ready to punch the both of you. This is your life, and far be it from me to give advice because I sure as shit don't do relationships. But I'll tell you this ... if I ever felt the way you both did about someone, I'd be breaking every goddamn door to get back to them. I wouldn't be waiting around for shit to magically fix itself, because it won't."

"That's the thing," I pause. "She already broke the damn doors around my heart. I never broke hers. She never let me in." My lip begins to quiver as the emotions start to bubble up. "I loved her. She wants to keep secrets. Fine. But I can't have that kind of relationship. You lied for her, her mother lied, she lied. I don't know what's real anymore."

Jesy doesn't respond right away. "I didn't lie to you. It wasn't my story to tell and from what I understand—you still don't know it." Jesy pauses allowing her words to settle in. "You owe it to each other to talk and at least learn everything. Then you both can go back to being fucking stupid. I'll let Nat know you'll be there and I'll text you the info."

"I'll be there. I promise."

She hangs up without another word.

Next week I'll have to see her. Next week I'll have no choice. And then I can put this all behind me.

~~~

"I'm going to go over the remaining accounts you're taking over and make sure you're all set. The movers come tomorrow to pack, so it's today or never."

"Why do you keep reminding me? Are you part sadist?" Taylor jokes, throwing her arms over her face.

"You know it," I laugh and toss a balled up paper at her. "Oh, please. You're not going to miss me that much. You just got a big, fat raise and a pretty sweet promotion."

"But I'm losing my friend and the only person I like in this office." Taylor's bottom lip juts out.

This is the part that keeps me crying every day. I'm an emotional wreck. I love Taylor like a sister. She's been a part of my daily life for years. On top of that she's a wonderful person—I'm going to miss her desperately. A very selfish part of me hoped she'd come to California with me, and then the other part is happy she chose to stay. She'll shine here and I think if she came with me, she'd have a hard time coming out of the shadows. I want her to succeed and she's ready to take this leap.