Back To You | Jerrie

Chapter 16

Perrie

I arrive back at my office refusing the fifteen phone calls and unknown number of text messages from Jade before finally shutting my phone off.

Fuck her.

There's nothing to say at this point. I'm way too angry, hurt, and disappointed to hear her voice. This isn't a conversation we should have over the phone anyway. This is a conversation we should've had months ago.

Taylor comes in and shuts the door. "I've lost count of how many times the line has rung, Perrie. You should at least—"

"No," I say with no room for discussion. "I'll deal with her when I'm ready. And I'm not ready. I have a party to go to tonight for a client. I need to make sure the caterers are on track." My voice begins to tremble as the emotions begin to surface. No. I won't do this. Not today. I need to be in my show mode dammit. "There's a lot I need to do."

Damn her.

Taylor nods and I look away as she exits my office. I will not break down until I've handled my job. It's all I have anymore.

Two hours fly by and I can't put off going to get my dress any longer. There's no way I can skip the party I've planned. I always knew this was a possibility. That's the part that kills me—I knew better. My mind is filled with a thousand questions and none of them I want the answers to. I hoped the time at the office would help me think straight. All it's done is make me more angry and upset.

I was honest. I told her everything. I explained how I couldn't live through this again, couldn't – wouldn't – put up with dishonesty. All this time she had, and not one word. We played that stupid game with all the questions, we spent hours in the park, the hospital ... all chances she had ... besides the obvious "Oh hey, I have a wife" gambit.

My nausea churns as I start to think over all the times we made love and she could still be married. There are so many questions about where the wife is. Are they separated? Divorced? I can't get my head to stop spinning. I hate the amount of self-doubt she's managed to cause with one question.

I can't delay this anymore. I have to get my dress. Maybe I'll pick up a date along the way and let her see how it feels—maybe Leigh-Anne knows someone. This shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't be sitting here thinking this. The plan for tonight was not this.

"I'll see you later?" I ask Taylor knowing she and her boyfriend are both attending tonight.

She looks up with wide eyes. "Per, I-I think," she begins but looks away. "I think you should wear your hair down," Taylor says and I give the best smile I'm able to fake at this point. I know she wanted to say something about the Jade situation, but being the friend she is, she stayed loyal—unlike some people.

"I'm going to get my dress and then I'll be at the hotel," I say as I stride toward the elevator.

Time to deal with my client.

All the strength and preparation on the subway has completely left me as I stand outside her apartment building shaking. Lies, a relationship built on lies.

I look at my phone and it flashes her face as she calls again. She'll talk to me soon enough.

Again it rings.

This time it's Leigh-Anne.

"Hi." I answer the phone but my voice sounds lifeless.

"What the fuck is going on? Jade called me twice and then Jesy called. Are you okay? They said they didn't know where you were." She sounds frantic. Bet they didn't tell her why.