Noise Complaint // Alex Ernst

eleven

➢ Mara

I don't know why I laughed. It was just the irony that the words. I wasn't surprised. I told her that this would happen. Nobody knew except me. No one would remember the nights that I sat on my roof, looking up at the starts in silence until I see my mom come out with a cigarette in her hand.

She kept it a secret. I don't know how on earth she did. I told her that she had to stop. She told me that it was none of my business and I wasn't allowed to tell anyone or else. I bet that my dad knew, but my brother and sister didn't. They were too oblivious to notice.

"Mara, what is it?" Alex asks. God, Alex. He's such an amazing guy, I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him but I know that I will, somehow. Without trying, I'll crush his heart and ruin everything. Just like I did with Justin, just like I did with Noelle, just like I did with my family.

"I told her that she would get cancer. She didn't care, she didn't listen," I say. "How did you know?" Alex asks. "She was a horrible smoker. She smoked more than anyone I know. More than Heath," I chuckle. "Mara, you should call her. Talk to her," Alex says.

I shake my head immediately. "I told them I wouldn't ever call. I have nothing to say to her," I say. "Mara, she has fucking cancer. Are you serious? She could die and you don't even care?" Alex says, starting to get angry. "She didn't do anything for me," I say. Anger and disappointment were painted brightly on Alex's face. "She's your MOTHER. She raised you for 19 years. Mar, you're better than this."

Suddenly, I realized what I was doing. I'm acting like my old self. Alex is yelling at me because I'm being heartless. I told myself that I wouldn't become that person again but look where I am.

But for some reason, I don't stop. "Why should I? I could die tomorrow and she wouldn't care. No, she'll be mad at me. Alex, I used to be depressed and she told me I was sick. She told me that I was mentally sick and that I needed to stop being so depressed and she didn't want someone sick living in her house. God, how things changed."

"Mara, this is your mother. Your own fucking mother. Why do you do this? They've been trying to call you, but you fucking blocked them. Are you serious? Why can't you just call them?"

I started to get angry. "Want me to call them? Fine," I snap, standing up and taking out my cell phone. I know how they'll react. The same way they reacted when I tried to call them right when I moved out.

The phone rang and a voice picked up. I put it on speaker so Alex can hear. "Hey, dad. It's Mara," I say. "Who?" He asks. "Mara.. your daughter?" I remind him. "Hm, I don't have a daughter named Mara anymore. She's out of my life now," he says and hangs up. I toss the phone on the couch.

I look to Alex and his face is pale. "Mar," he says, his voice quiet and soft. "Alex, I told you. They don't care about me anymore," I sigh. Alex wraps me in his arms and hugs me tightly. It felt so familiar and warm. It felt like home.

I hugged back, not wanting to let go. I needed Alex, he was my best friend. He helps me not lose my mind. If he wasn't here, I would try to punch a whole in a wall. Instead, I'm giving a shirtless 20 year old boy a big hug.

I felt upset by the news, yes. But I knew that they wouldn't care. When I moved out, they also blocked me from their life. They didn't support me anymore except for my college education. God, I don't even know why they'll pay for that.