Somebody To Call Mine (Completed)

KABANATA XVIII

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KABANATA XVIII: I want to feel you.

"If you love him please make him feel it. But if not tell him in an instance and stop giving him false hope." seryosong saad ni Rafael.

Am I giving him the wrong kind of hope? Pinaasa ko ba siya?

"As far as I know Raf everything is clear between me and your cousin. He knows where he stands to begin with and my relationship with him is nothing but friendship...." for now. But I chose not to say the latter.

Simula't sapul ay naging open na ako kay Ken about my issues in the past. My issue with Chrome and stuffs like that and it didn't cross my mind that I'm giving him false hope. Coz everything has been laid down from day one.

Sigurado akong hindi naririnig ni Ken ang sinabi niya which I'm thankful of dahil sobrang lango niya sa alak at nakasarado na rin ang pintuan nito. Tinitigan niya ako bago bumuntong hininga at magsindi ng sigarilyo. After his first puff he finally continue, "I've never seen him go crazy for a woman until you came. He toyed around with girls and I thought you're just the same but seeing him do the sh!ts he don't normally do just to please you. That's new in Ken's vocab and I'm afraid gone is the old man that I knew before you entered into the picture." he said in a very serious tone. I glanced at Ken whose inside and sleeping peacefully.

Ngayon lang may nagtanong sakin ng nararamdaman ko para sa isang lalaki. Noong kay Chrome kasi walang naglakas ng loob magtanong sakin bukod sa Kuya ko at ang mga kaibigan ko naman ay alam na pero hindi nila ko tinatanong. Para akong nasa hot seat sa isang talk show na pinupukol ng tanong.

"I didn't asked him to change Raf. It's his own will and I have nothing to do with that." paliwanag ko. I'm praying Ken won't wake up any time soon.

Tumikhim siya at tinapon ang hindi pa nangangalahating sigarilyo bago ito tapakan. "You didn't ask but he feels the need for a change to please you. Ken's an as*, a player, a stubborn fella but this time it's different. Sigurado akong seryoso sayo ang pinsan ko. Kaya ngayon palang sinasabi ko na kung wala siyang pag-asa bitawan mo na. Save him. Save the Kenneth that we know. Save his as*." pakiramdam ko ay sinisisi niya ako. Wala namang masama sa pagbabago ni Ken ah?

"Pag-isipan mo ang tanong at mga sinasabi ko dahil para sainyo rin naman yun." dugtong niya.

Paalis na sana siya pero kaagad ko siyang hinabol at pinigilan, "Are you saying I'm a bad influence? Galit ka ba sakin Raf?"

Umiling siya, "I don't meddle with Ken's girls but I find the necessity to do it with you Mandy." he paused for awhile. "Let's just say iba ka sa mga naging babae ni Ken at nakikita kong handa siyang maging matino para sayo. and that's the thing I fear the most, he's making you his world and ano na lang ang mangyayari kung hindi kayo magwork out? Kaya tinatanong kita, are you really leading him on to a senseless road or you're on the same page with him? Mahal mo na ba siya? o nag-eenjoy ka lang sa atensyon na binibigay niya kasi kung HINDI ang sagot mo sa mga tanong ko tigilan mo na." may diin ang bawat salitang binitawan ni Rafael.

Natigilan ako at kinapa sa aking dibdib ang kasagutan sa tanong niya. Pero lahat ay magulo pa, malabo ang lahat. Bumuntong hininga ako at seryoso siyang tiningnan. Gusto ko pag binitawan ko ang sagot sa tanong niyang yun ay sigurado na ako at hindi spur of the moment lang. Hindi dahil sa pressure kundi dahil I mean it and I want to say it.