Summary: When tragedy strikes, Beatrice Prior's life is turned upside down, her plans for the future are jeopardized, and life becomes a lot more complicated. The one silver lining to the path set before her comes in the form of a certain blue-eyed...
Date: Beatrice's Choosing Day is 11 months away (Middle of July)
Beatrice POV
I wake up early, the early dawn sun streaming in through the window of my bedroom. I have been nervous about today since the moment I made my decision.
Visiting day is finally here and I am going to Dauntless to see Tobias today.
I close my eyes and try to calm my racing heart. There are moments when I despise him, and then there are times that my heart still aches for the boy I loved. I did love him, completely.
All of our talks about marriage, our future, they meant everything to me. I think back to his words, his tone, and the way his eyes shone brightly...I genuinely believed he meant every word he said. Did he at any point feel that way? Or was that all a lie from the beginning? Could I have been so naïve? Or maybe I was just a foolish girl that was projecting what I wanted to see?
It has been over a year since Tobias was last in this house. Over a year since he tossed me aside, minutes before he walked out the front door to start his new life.
While leaving me and my mother here in this house, with Marcus Eaton. I cringe while laying my bed, I have learned to clench my fists as tight as I can and then to release them. This helps me to control the rage that I feel. I hate Marcus and what has become of Mother and me.
Especially now.
We had a good life. Now that I know what this hell is, and now that I have really gotten to know some wonderful people in Factionless – I realize that Mother and I would have been better off alone in Factionless, than to be in this prison with Marcus as he torments us. Marcus and Tobias hid the abuse so well.
I think back to when Mother realized that Tobias had been the target of Marcus's rage right under her nose. She couldn't believe that she had missed the signs. She spoke to me about it, she was concerned if I had been hiding my own abuse from her. I assured her that Marcus never even looked in my direction, only to bark orders at me in regards to chores.
I made the split decision to keep quiet about knowing about Marcus and Tobias. I was afraid that Mother would one day see on my face how much I loved the boy who left us. The boy who left me. I believe Mother would be even more upset if she knew what was happening between Tobias and I right under her nose. My Mother loves him, but she would not have been pleased that I gave away so much of myself to someone who felt nothing for me. Under her roof, and just down the hall while she slept, nonetheless. No, the secret shame that I feel is something I will never burden her with.
Besides, it is over. There really is no reason to think about it anymore. I slip my hand to the space between the mattress and the wall to feel the small clutch I have hidden there.
It holds two things that are very precious to me.
The first is a reminder for hope. I keep hidden the only photograph I have of my real family: Father, Mother, Caleb and I. I smile thinking of that day, we were in the middle of handing out water bottles during the hot summer to Factionless when an Erudite reporter was documenting the project. At that moment I was being overly ambitious and dropped the dozen water bottles I had been carrying, my goal was to carry as many as possible so I wouldn't have to make so many trips. I was trying to be efficient, OK...in reality I wanted to hurry up and be done. My family ran over to help gather the bottles that were rolling away.
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