Deceptions & Secrets

Chapter 2: Wedded Bliss

Chapter 2: Wedded Bliss

Four Months before Tobias's Choosing Ceremony (Early February)

Beatrice POV

"Beatrice." My mother's gentle voice creeps into my consciousness, into the space between dreams and waking. A cool hand gently brushes my hair away from my face. As it skims the blond hair at the top of my head, I almost think it is my father's hand. He often brushed his hand over it in just the same way.

But then as I pull further from dreams into reality, I remember that my father and brother are dead, and we have been without them for two months now. It is not my father lovingly stroking my hair, and it never will be. I keep my eyes closed a few more moments. I'm not ready to come back to reality right now.

"Beatrice," my mother says again. "It's time to wake up, dear child." I cannot avoid the truth any longer. I open my eyes. Mother sits at the edge of my bed, and her hand touches my cheek. She smiles, but her eyes are still sad, grief-stricken. Just as they are every morning. For a moment, I take her in. These past two months, since the accident, have aged her. It feels like yesterday, and at the same time, it feels so long ago, as though it has been years since we were whole, as though it has been decades.

"Good morning, Mother," I murmur, my voice thick with sleep. I sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Beatrice." Mother's voice sounds tight, strained... but firm and resolute. "Today is an important day."

My brow furrows in confusion. What could be important about today? It's just another Saturday. It isn't a holiday, and I don't remember being informed of any events planned for today. I frown. "What do you mean? Important, how?"

Mother sighs, but forces a smile. "You know that we cannot survive on our own, Beatrice. Marcus Eaton has asked for my hand, and I have accepted. We will wed at noon."

I gape at her. "Marriage?! To... today?!" I stutter. My eyes well with tears. It has been only two months since my father died! No one can replace him, and no one should try, so soon. I bite my cheek and will away the tears that threaten to fall. Mother just looks at me, patiently. I look down at my lap and nod. This turn of events only adds more fuel to the fire that is my anger, another downpour into the ocean that is my grief, but there is nothing I can do about it. I know Mother loved them... I know she never wanted this, either. But here we are.

++o++

As I dressed, ate breakfast and did my chores, I was in a daze. I know I did these things, but I hardly remember doing them. It is almost as though I am back in those first days of grief-- I am numb, I am nothing. It is not until my mother and I are walking silently to Abnegation Headquarters, to the meeting room where the ceremony will take place, dressed in our usual gray robes, our hair twisted in the usual knot, that it occurs to me that today not only will my father be replaced, but so will Caleb.

We will be starting a new life with Marcus... and Tobias.

My stomach clenches as I remember our moment on the roof. I have been too wrapped in my grief these past months to even think of our indiscretion, but I think of it now. That boy I kissed, that I was so scandalously close to, today will become my 'brother'. And our one and only previous meeting... was on that rooftop.

When I kissed Tobias, I needed comfort, I was overwhelmed with grief. I never thought I would see him again. And now I have to live with him?! I cringe anticipating what will undoubtedly be an awkward and uncomfortable reunion. I can only hope that Marcus and my mother are too distracted with their nuptials to notice, because I doubt that we will both be able to hide it well.